Saturday, November 17, 2007

Okay, what now?

I had a really nice evening with my husband. But life can be difficult. It is like keeping your eye on the moving target. Rather, keeping your eye on Jesus. Wow, that is a constellation of varied thoughts, now isn’t it.

I am so glad that He has not left me. That sounds kind of weird to actually write and read. Like, He is never going to leave me! Yet, the other week I was afraid that He was going to be pulling back from me because I was feeling such a pull from the world and it was tempting me so much and the world felt like it was pulling its tentacles around me, and indeed it was.

There are trials and there are trials. That is, there are trials that you see and there are trials that you are in and they are more difficult to see because you are in them and part of them. But from them we become strong and ferocious and there are the spoils of war that are ours after the battle is won. Yeah, we fight and some of us think that it is sort of fun, but not really, but we rise to the occasion and we are able to fight and so we do. But mostly we just stand firm. And so we look forward to the New Jerusalem and New heaven and Earth and we will sit around and talk about it, when David took on Goliath and how that was an example for us and we took it serious and we did it too, not that we are David , not that our situation is Goliath but greater things will you do and so we do and so we do not judge ourselves but leave the judgment to God and we worship Him in Spirit and in truth and so we love Him and so it is. Amen. Follow?

Christ was faithful when the world was pulling in on me and tempting me. He will never let me be tempted beyond what I am able to bear but with the temptation will provide a way of escape that I am able to bear up under it. It was so refreshing and beautiful to sing praise songs with the Lord driving in my car and feel Him close. Oh, don’t go. I don’t want You to go.

Also with Christ there is the realization that God is able to keep me from falling and to present me pure and blameless with exceeding joy before His throne. He is full of grace and truth. Also, Christ is preparing to present to Himself a bride, the church, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, full of grace and truth, to Himself.

I am in the bride of Christ. My life is hid with Christ in God. Lord, hold me and hold me forever. You know what else it says about the bride of Christ? That she will be presented in all of her glory. Isn't that cool? All of her glory, that she has a glory!

I look around this word and there are so many attractive things, but like a mother looking for her lost child, I can not find my true love in this world. I look and look and there is not Him - my King, my Savior. My Savior is in God and I will run to my Lord and reside and dwell inside of my Lord Jesus because I have no other life save Him alone. There I will have my dwelling. And He is good to me and faithful and I am so glad that He has not left me to this world, that wants to capture my soul and life, but it does not deserve it, because Christ died for it and my soul belongs to Christ and is in Christ forever. And all I have to do is rest in Him, just lay back and rest because I believe that He is good, and I don’t understand why it is that I even believe, but I know that I do, and so I walk day by day and go wherever He says to the best that I can, because – “Where else do we go? For you alone have the words of eternal life.” Yet He credits our account? Something just doesn’t add up.

However, one thing I know and that is this. I will hold out my both hands and say, “Okay Lord, You have it for me? I want it. I know I don’t deserve it and I don’t understand it but if you have it for me I am receiving it all. Lay it on me and enlarge my heart and mind to receive it. One day I will be dead and the next minute I will be standing before You and so yeah, I want it. Give me all You have, everything You want for me and I know that as that happens I will feel stretched. Yeah, so what of it? Stretch me. This is the only time I have because even tomorrow I don’t have because I may not have the same gift of faith or I may not even be alive, so yeah, give me an ability to receive it all. Even if I die in the process. A death of ecstasy. Stretching to receive all Christ has.

Yeah, fun to write and maybe it even looks good on paper but you know Lord, even that is puffed up and filled with hot air. Or maybe it wasn’t but as I read it over I am aware that I am both of spirit and of flesh, a messed up human. But You’ll be setting it all straight, and one day You will release me from myself and fill me completely with the life of Christ and the life you created, that You predestined in the first place. Oh God, I can not even boast. Just let me collapse in You and wait here till you fill me up for the next moment.

The sheep hear His voice and will follow no other. Oh, don't you just desire to worship Him? And this is eternal life, to know Him.

God bless you. I am filled with His love and you know what else? To be filled with the spirit can be “just” to be filled with psalms and hymn and spiritual songs, and isn’t that great? Just to love Him and to love people. That is all. There doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just to love the Lord and find our contentment and life and peace in His name. Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together. The Lord is our refuge!!!

posted by An Ordinary Christian | 10:59 PM | 6 comments

Sunday, November 11, 2007

A Whole New Me


Really, I am so different than when I wrote my blog info all about me - in one of those side panel things - like when I talked about going to the spa and stuff. That was so last year. So long, long ago. It was fine for then because I didn't have other doors opened to me at that time. But now God has opened doors and I am running quickly and there is so much going on.

The biggest thing for me today is to realize that I am not any different than before God blessed me in that I need to remember who I am, the poor sinner that is completely dependent and awaiting for whatever the Savior would desire of me to do.

The amazingly human thing that happens again and again and so automatically is when I am blessed I find in myself a desire to try and hold on to it or claim it as mine. But that is not right and that is death to the blessing.

So I am trying to just soak up the sun. Soak up the SON.

posted by An Ordinary Christian | 9:02 PM | 4 comments