The two main sets of things I've learned the past week

1) The low-down is this refined swallowing: My husband is not my God (I'm re-learning). Worry is unbelief and is sin. Money is not my God either. I needed to repent about these things. Difficult circumstances and God's grace brought these nuggets to the surface.

2) I'm gonna go-for-it. Leave it for God and quit trying to control my life. Quit trying to keep the remote. Quit playing the song in my mind: "Should I go or should I stay now." Quit worrying how it looks. Be a warrior. I've let go today. I'm free. I'm free-falling. God is watching, protecting my interests. God is my life.

Verse for the day from Phil: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed but have sufficient courage that Christ may be exalted in my body whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Jump in! The water is fine! (Living Water that is....)

Repentence for everyday life

I'm going through a bit of a trial. Yesterday I was having lunch in my car and seeking the Lord with regards to the trial. I was listening to a Kay Arthur tape and reading Oswald Chambers "Utmost" book.

In a short while I found myself having a change of mind about two things in particular. First, my huband is never going to be able to live up my expectations and isn't capable of it. It was wrong for me to have unrealistic expectations. My lofty desires of him were based in my continuing to want him to be my King and satisfy me completely. He isn't my King. He isn't going to satisfy me completely. I needed to repent and change my mind about this.

Second, it was wrong to worry because worry is unbelief and for me, inthis point of time in my walk with God, for me to worry is sin. It is sin because I KNOW God is for me, cares about this trial and I know He is working behind the scenes for my good, so my worry is an active act of disobedience on my part.

Life is hard. God goes with us. So it is okay. Everything will be okay. His grace is enough for me. Completely sufficient and fully satisfying for every need, even when it may not look that way. Just look in the right place, dear ones.

50th Birthday prep

I am preparing for a big party for my husband's 50th birthday. The party is December 30th. It will be an all day event (noon till 11 PM).

I spent a lot of the weekend sorting through pictures and picking music for the slide show. It was a bit of an overwhelming experience for me. I didn't realize or remember that he has been such an involved and good father. I didn't remember how much he loved those dogs we had in the early years. Also, what a reminder that we really did have one baby after the other and how adorable they are. And how much fun we have had.

A lot of times you just remember the bad things that loom bigger and bigger in the mind and over shadow what really was.

I decided to "respect my husband" as the Bible said through this party. The rewards are starting to come back already by providing me with a more accurate and appreciative perspective of things. Don't you find doing the right thing builds on itself into a good, sober and right life?

Good to me

I want to write but I am really tired and want to go to sleep. I want to write about God's grace and the things that happened this week. I am nervous because lots of times people don't want to hear about good news, it gets them down. "Why can't my life be like that?" "Why can't I have good things?" Those are some of the things that I think others will think if I go on and on with my enthusiasm.

Really, everyone has God's grace sufficient for them. Everyone has God's will that is sufficient for them. Is God's will good enough for you or would you like more? Do you need more than merely the best that God has to offer? Do you also need the flesh to feel good? I know that I fall that way and it is hard. Life is hard. I'm not perfect. But sometimes I feel really, really blessed.

I am amazed at my life, my Lord, my family. I have problems but I chose to look at His magnificent sufficiency to me. And when I look, I am amazed. God has been so good to me.

Following Kimber

This is what Kimber has up on her blog, so I thought I would do the same. However, I do not promise that I have been all-inclusive with my answers, and some answers are a judgement call, and some answers are affirmative going back a whole lot of years - so be cautious!

The things in bold are the things I’ve done! Copy it and publish your list!! Make bold what you've done then copy and paste into your blog post. Easy-schmeezy!

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins (no, but I was kissed by a killer whale once)
03. Climbed a mountain (what sdo you consider a mountain? And does driving count?)
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris (gee, so far I've lived a boring life)
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (my father's/grandmother's)18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger (but I got asked out)
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (I think - or else it was partial - probably partial)
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 50 states (but I'm at about 46)
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country (how about Hawaii?)
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked in Europe
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing (sort-of - climbed over rocks!)
48. Midnight walk on the beach (no, but it was late)
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theater
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music (but not professionally - just with a tape recorder!)
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents (my dad)
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75 Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (but drove on it)
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived (well, we could have died)
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
77. Lost over 100 pounds (75)
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray (but caught one once)
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions (except did go back to my old school's reunion)
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be "sick"
90. Surfed in the ocean
91. Saved someone's life
92. Fainted93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Grand Canyon
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and trusted Him to cleanse you for your sins, so that you too may have eternal life (I added this one because #91 and #100 was the same)

Who is my king?

This past week has been revealing in several ways, but I want to comment on my king.

As you know, Christ is my King. However, I put my husband there instead, so easily. So easily and quickly I place him up there on Jesus' throne, without me even realizing it sometimes.

We were going to church on Sunday and my husband said something that hurt. And while I was worshipping and singing at church, I thought about how I was going to worship God then, and how I couldn't rely upon my husband and whether or not and how he believed God. And there as I was singing, it was like I realized that I - again -so was sitting upon my husband's coat tails and had left my first love. (Wow, sounds harsh.)

So quickly I want to prop him up and depend upon my husband instead. How I want him to be everything for me! All I need! How I want to need him and have him be perfect and dependable and a hero for me. How quickly I want to worship him, rather than God.

On the other hand, there are ways that I do not want to respect my husband. Not just here and there do I not respect him, but pervasively. I don't respect his position in the home. I don't honor his preferences. I don't conform my ways to better meet his needs. I don't look out for his feelings, his interests. I don't acknowledge the fact that he does not enjoy life at the same pace as I, that he does not have the same motivations as I and he does not have the same leanings that I do. I don't let him be the man that God made him to me. I want to change him into my own image and this is grossly disrespectful. I am sorry for this analogy, but it is kind of like the employee getting hired and then telling the employer how he needs to change everything, and that she is not going to do it like he likes. Hey, I didn't design marriage, but God sure did. God made it just the way that it pleased Him. Either get with the program, or move out of the way.

God wants me to be a godly wife and to respect my husband in an honorable and God-pleasing way.

God does not want me to depend upon my husband for a substitute for worship.

How is it that I can do one so easily and the other so grudgingly?