"All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give." From the old hymn.
I was reading in Henry Blackaby's book this morning, Experiencing God (I'm not sure how to underline that title) that we are to try to get to the point where we have no will of our own. This way God can better use us in what He is wanting to do rather than being driven by our own dreams and purposes. If we just try to fulfill our own purposes, then God's power is not able to be concentrated through us and He is not able to accomplish those things that only He can do. When God works through us to do those things that only He can do, we experience and come to better know God. When that happens, we are fulfilled in Him and have the joy that only God brings.
Theory and reality sometimes strain to intersect. Reality: My will for today is to complete the cleaning of my home office this weekend before I have to go back to work on Monday. (I've had this past week off for "catching up".) My will is to have my husband complete the computer stuff I want him to do. I want to clear off my desk of months of old mail, wipe down the dust and gime on the desk itself, update my bank balances that hasn't been done in seven months, complete 12 hours of dictations, 3 hours of medical records at the hospital, complete 4 hours of other paperwork forms and it would be nice to file my 2004 taxes, for which I got an extention in April. That represents my will, desires, hopes. Oh, and it would be nice not to eat too much. It would be nice to have my husband meet all of the needs of the children, both physical and emotional over this weekend time period. And it would be great if a bunch of people suddenly discovered this great new website and were wonderfully ministered to by God Himself. Theory: to get to the point that I have no will of my own so God can do through me the things that only He can do.
Prayer: Jesus, I give my will to you. Make my perspective Your perspective. Circumstances don't last. You are building up an eternal kingdom that lasts forever. You have always been faithful to carry me in spite of the fact that I can not accomplish what I feel I need to. Your grace has been sufficient for me thus far and will continue to be so. Like that stone of the Old Testament that was laid to signify, "thus far the Lord has helped us," so too is my testimony. What do I have that I have not been given? Since when have I started to be able to carry my own load? You have been my steady supply of resources all of my life, ever more so since I have come to know and walk with You. What can I produce on my own? I am dependent upon You. Help me that my aspirations are not disappointing to You, but are consistent with Your will. Help me to get a lot done this weekend and may I rejoice in Your faithfulness. But if I get nothing done of this agenda, may all of Your agenda be accomplished. May this weekend count for eternity. That when the last trumpet blows, that when the dead in Christ rise first, that when I stand before You and look over my life, that I can say regarding this weekend, "thus far the Lord has helped me," and see Your hand has been working for Your purposes. Help me not strain, but release myself to You because You are good. You know my needs and have always been faithful to meet them. Bless the people who read this with Your touch and direction. Show them Your sufficiency. In Jesus name, Amen.