Life does not consist in the abundance of circumstances. "This is eternal life, that they may know You," Jesus said to His Father, if I remember correctly.
I have a good life. But do you ever look around and get afraid? That is my problem this night, as I sit here in the middle of the night writing on my blog and feeling worried. What I did was take my eyes off of Christ.
I see my financial worries. I see things that hang in the balance. I see people that are in charge of things and wonder how I can trust them. I can't trust them. I rely on Christ. In Christ alone.
Remember Paul in the Bible and the thorn in his side? That thorn bothered him so much and it was so difficult for him. However, where in the Bible do we see that the thorn inhibited Paul's actual ministry in terms of God's work in and through Paul? God's work was done. Despite the thorn. The thorn limited Paul, not God. The thorn is a distant memory as Christ is exalted through the life that God exalted in Christ.
Tears came to my eyes now as I paused and as I redirected my mind and listened again to the words of the hymn, "In Christ alone" that is playing now on my Napster. God is so good to me. He is my reassurance. He isn't letting go. Yes, I worry. I worry when I listen to my husband's worries, but he is not looking to Christ. I look to Christ. God won't let go.
Dear God, the Almighty Father and Lord of the world,
This world may and will fail but You will never fail me. I hate being squeezed into the world's mold as I am working as an executive at the hospital. Yet, who am I to be self-righteous? Am I being squeezed away from Christ or is my eternal body, so to speak, is that the only thing that is changing? Lord, help me to be victorious! Though I become all things to all men in order to win some to Christ, let my testimony be unshaken. Purify Christ though me.
God, please don't let the finances fail. Equip my husband to do what You have called him to do and be. I know You run things. Don't let go. Continue to encourage me. Continue to hold me. Continue to maintain my house and home. Be with the doctor's BBQ next week at my house. Please don't let go of me or my ministries or work. Please use me like a bird called from far away to do Your work. Keep my eyes on You. Let me not lose my faith or the vision that You have just shown and given me. Lord, You are faithful.
Father, I have a beautiful office and home. I appreciate these things so much but I know that they are not the substance of things. The substance is Christ. The earth will be shaken from its axis one day, but You will never be shaken. The things of earth will pass away, but Your work will never pass away. Your faith. Your love. Your joy. My hope in You.
Fill me now with Your Holy Spirit to go on like I was before. Help me to pick up my feet and run again. Let me look to Christ, the author and finisher or my faith! “When fears are stilled and when strivings cease!” Fill me now as I go back to sleep and let me wake up refreshed in You for another day. Let me not look to the things of this world. You have never failed me! You have given me these things and though I can not trust in them, it is reasonable that You give us stability and we shouldn't fear that any day, and day by day that they are going to be wiped out, because then how could we not panic? It is the Father's responsibility to care for the needs of the children.
Oh Father! You are reassuring me, aren't You? That was the meaning, the assurance behind the tears I just cried. You will take care of my husband and it is appropriate that I am letting him find His way. You are in charge of the finances and I need to let him be the husband and provider and caregiver that You are letting him be without me going in and controlling and “fixing” things. Please don't let go God. Please be with us.
"No guilt in life, No fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me." Death of whatever. Death of God's things? Death of God's work? Death of the ministry that God has called us to? No. There is no fear of death. Christ took that away. He robbed Satan of the power of death! He stands in victory. Death has lost its grip on me. I am bought with the blood of Christ. His valuable blood. “Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.” By God's strength holding up every last fiber of my weak and corruptible body, Christ takes on incorruptible.
