Relationships! Ugh!
I'm having a little trouble sleeping right now so I thought I would make an entry and then go back to bed. There's something that I've been particularly perplexed a bit about over the last day or so. Why is it that people don't realize and grab ahold of the reality that a relationship with their Creater is greater, richer and more satisfying than any human relationship? Why do men and women who are single think that a human relationship will meet their needs when such a relationship has never been found in their lives before, and they don't know anyone who has had their soul needs met by a human being on a sustained basis, ever before in their lives?
It's like in the olden times when the people of Israel didn't want God to be their King but wanted a human king instead, so God gave them Saul. Why would a person reject God as being their soul-satisfying soul mate and keep searching for a human mate? Do they not realize that the human relationship, when/if they ever find it means a giving up of oneself like Jesus did on the cross?
That's another thing. Why is it that men and women, in their spousal relationships just seek to control the other? Whenever I have picked up a woman's magazine in the last year, when I read about relationship issues, it is really how to control your husband and get him to comply/get your kids to comply - with the woman's agenda. That is part of the curse in Genesis, I believe, when God says to Eve, "your desire will be for you husband, but he shall rule over you." The word "desire" is the same one used in the next chapter for sin having its "desire" for Cain, but he must rule over it. Wives want to control their husbands, but God has established the relationship such that he will have certain ruling authority over her. That is, if the woman wants to control the agenda, make her husband comply with her way of running the household, she will never actually be able to master him and get him to comply. If he does, then it is that mousy man who is hen-pecked and an abomination of a man, losing his manliness. But still women can not help but desire and insist, by her very nature it seems, to control the husband, or try to - and then get angry and frustrated. She is stuck.
Yet when she is single and looking for Mr. Wonderful, does she see that when she marries she is going to be establishing and placing herself in a role such that "he will rule over" her, as it says in Genesis? Does she seek the fulfilling and very real relationship with God to satisfy her soul-desire needs? If He instructs her to marry fine. But she can not seem to wait and leave it to God. No, she burns in the flesh for a man, and abdocates to the flesh her spirituality and freedom she has in Christ. But then once married, doesn't realize that having obtained that fulfillment in the flesh also obligates oneself to be owned by the spouses fleshly desires all of her natural life. (The Bible speaks of the fact that it is wrong to deny the spouse your body and in fact the body is "owned" by the spouse and you don't own your own body, but the spouse has a right to it.)
What do you think? BTW, I am happily married woman of 22 plus years. People may look at me and think that just happened. No, whether you believe it or not, I was put through the meat grinder and my husband too has surrended his flesh to the meat grinding that I have put him through and together we have become one in the meatloaf of a human relationship. There is oneness, but it came at a very high price, the giving up of oneself beyond individual recognition.
And I suppose this will be my final point, as I am reminded of another peeve. Why do people leave relationships rather than surrendering themselves to the meat grinder, or to the cross? That is the only why oneness is achieved. Or else, they don't leave the relationship physically, but they do emotionally. They don't surrender themsleves to the service of the other person. They want their physical desires met, so want to get married, but then withhold themselves from the other person once married, citing their own (very real) discomfort. Yes, it is uncomfortable! That's why you should seek God instead. But if in a spousal obligation, surrender to the person in Christ, all the way up to , but NOT including sinfulness. (That is, just because married, you still have to obey God and not sin because your spouse wants you to, but other than that, you need to surrender to serving that person.) Then they complain how awful the other person is, get divorced, and think another relationship will meet their needs. All the while Jesus is pleading - "Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for my yoke is easy and my labor is light."
It's like in the olden times when the people of Israel didn't want God to be their King but wanted a human king instead, so God gave them Saul. Why would a person reject God as being their soul-satisfying soul mate and keep searching for a human mate? Do they not realize that the human relationship, when/if they ever find it means a giving up of oneself like Jesus did on the cross?
That's another thing. Why is it that men and women, in their spousal relationships just seek to control the other? Whenever I have picked up a woman's magazine in the last year, when I read about relationship issues, it is really how to control your husband and get him to comply/get your kids to comply - with the woman's agenda. That is part of the curse in Genesis, I believe, when God says to Eve, "your desire will be for you husband, but he shall rule over you." The word "desire" is the same one used in the next chapter for sin having its "desire" for Cain, but he must rule over it. Wives want to control their husbands, but God has established the relationship such that he will have certain ruling authority over her. That is, if the woman wants to control the agenda, make her husband comply with her way of running the household, she will never actually be able to master him and get him to comply. If he does, then it is that mousy man who is hen-pecked and an abomination of a man, losing his manliness. But still women can not help but desire and insist, by her very nature it seems, to control the husband, or try to - and then get angry and frustrated. She is stuck.
Yet when she is single and looking for Mr. Wonderful, does she see that when she marries she is going to be establishing and placing herself in a role such that "he will rule over" her, as it says in Genesis? Does she seek the fulfilling and very real relationship with God to satisfy her soul-desire needs? If He instructs her to marry fine. But she can not seem to wait and leave it to God. No, she burns in the flesh for a man, and abdocates to the flesh her spirituality and freedom she has in Christ. But then once married, doesn't realize that having obtained that fulfillment in the flesh also obligates oneself to be owned by the spouses fleshly desires all of her natural life. (The Bible speaks of the fact that it is wrong to deny the spouse your body and in fact the body is "owned" by the spouse and you don't own your own body, but the spouse has a right to it.)
What do you think? BTW, I am happily married woman of 22 plus years. People may look at me and think that just happened. No, whether you believe it or not, I was put through the meat grinder and my husband too has surrended his flesh to the meat grinding that I have put him through and together we have become one in the meatloaf of a human relationship. There is oneness, but it came at a very high price, the giving up of oneself beyond individual recognition.
And I suppose this will be my final point, as I am reminded of another peeve. Why do people leave relationships rather than surrendering themselves to the meat grinder, or to the cross? That is the only why oneness is achieved. Or else, they don't leave the relationship physically, but they do emotionally. They don't surrender themsleves to the service of the other person. They want their physical desires met, so want to get married, but then withhold themselves from the other person once married, citing their own (very real) discomfort. Yes, it is uncomfortable! That's why you should seek God instead. But if in a spousal obligation, surrender to the person in Christ, all the way up to , but NOT including sinfulness. (That is, just because married, you still have to obey God and not sin because your spouse wants you to, but other than that, you need to surrender to serving that person.) Then they complain how awful the other person is, get divorced, and think another relationship will meet their needs. All the while Jesus is pleading - "Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for my yoke is easy and my labor is light."
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 12:26 AM
10 Comments:
that is so amazing, I ran into an acquaintance and that is exactly what she did, just left one man for another, she didn't want to submit to the meat grinder!!
By the way I would love to have one of your booklets, you can email me at chuckndanarenz@aol.com and I will send u my mailing address.
By the way, have you heard if Matt will make it by Christmas? I can't wait to find out, I hope he does!
Very good post!
I too had to go through the meat-grinder and it was't pleasant for neither me nor my spouse but it was worth it.
Just because it's so natural to try to control and 90% of the women do it, it is socially accepted and taught as well. Only those who are willing to open their eyes to what they are doing and, like you mentioned, seek God's Will in their lives, is when the turn can/will be made. Unfortunately many wont do that because it goes against their feelings. And feelings are a totally different chapter, or should I say book?:-)
Marriage should be a triangle: God, husband, wife. Only if both spouses are in God, they are one.
God's Grace.
Such extraordinary insight coming from an ordinary Christian?!
Great post. ;-)
I know a lot of people like what you've described. I think the solution is that they do not have an active relationship with Jesus.
I've also known many parents who want to learn how to control their kids. As a childcare worker having lived with 'at-risk' children I can tell you that no one can control another person. You can only help to teach them how to control themselves. If a person feels like someone is 'control-ing' them, it is simply because that person has allowed themselves to be controlled. The one we should really submit to is God. Allow Him to help us control ourselves. Amen?
i was trying to leave a comment but it gives out an error message.
let me try that again...
oh, good!
anyway, in a relationship, a wife has to submit to her husband not to control them. we are to obey God's command. i agree with corry that when we are in Chirst (husband and wife) then we are one.
My dear you were so frustrated, but everyone who commented including me all have the same opinion....see you're not alone!
I am continually frustrated by people who say they are christian, but they leave spouses, cheat on spouses, abuse spouses etc.
When people tell me the relationship should be 50/50 and the spouse didn't give their 50. I usually tell them that's the problem. It should be 100/100!
God said we are to love our spouse and submit the way we would to God. Well, if both people are submitting 100% and loving their spouse like they love God....there shouldn't be a problem.
As usual the problem boils down to the quality of our relationship and commitment to Jesus!
Thanks for your post. It's so inspiring. I agree with you, relationship with the Lord is certainly more satisfying than any human relationship. Although I'm single, Jesus is the Lover of my soul =). And I praise Him for that!
What an intriguing post!
...we have become one in the meatloaf of a human relationship.
I'm glad you have stopped by my blog and commented.
I'm a little surprised at the tists and turns of the comments this last time around.
Take care!
Good post - and some worthy topics you're working through here!
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