I guess I am anxious
I guess I really am anxious. I ate junk food the last 24 hours and my body really isn't used to it. When I awoke I continued where I left off last night after eating chocolate eclairs. This morning I ate cookies and a cinnamon roll. I felt sedated. You know, that kind of food really is a drug. (Okay, I'm exteme, but it affects me that way.) I felt like napping but didn't. Either that or eating more junk. I prayed for God to help me. I am dependent upon Him, and He saves me from myself in matters like this.
Anyway, lunch was better (salad and apple). I did a few things at work and came home and for the first time in, I don't know, a year, I layed in my bed in the middle of the day. The darkness is coming upon us, because of the winter season and so my room felt dark and warm and I slept for about 50 minutes.
When I awoke, I laid there for about 85 minutes, realizing how paralyzed I felt. I wasn't overwhelmed, because I was like quietly praying the whole time. I recited the verses I meditated upon this morning when I exercised at the club for an hour. (I didn't want to do it, but the Lord enabled me, to give me the strength, because I really do depend upon Him to help me in these matters of health). As I laid in bed, I thought about and kind of numbered my anxieties. I won't bore you with the details.
The experience reminded me of in 1988 when I had to take part I of the National Board Exams during medical school and was totally so freaked out and anxious that I didn't study the entire summer that I was actually supposed to study for the test. Instead, I kept reciting Bible verses about how God was going to enable me to stand, and that He would help me. It was during that time I began the long road of realizing that God was really with me in regards to my being a doctor. "I know whom I have believed, and I am assured that He is able to guard what I have entrusted Him unto that day," from Timothy I think, was one of the verses I meditated upon that summer. I still felt anxious, but God did what He wanted to do in me anyway. I passed the boards. By the grace of God.
So, as I laid in my bed this afternoon, reflecting upon somewhat paralyzing anxiety, and prayed, well, the time went by and after awhile I got out of bed. My husband was cooking dinner (so nice!) and I came here to the computer.
Dear Great High Priest - the Lord Jesus Christ:
Thank You for being my God and Savior. Nobody has a better God and Savior than You! You are the God that saves me from myself, from my enemies, from my past and from the future. You are the God who holds me by Your righteous right hand and will not let me go. You are the God who is pleased to reveal Himself to the humble and contrite. You are my God, my Redeemer, my Hope, my Salvation. Lord, take my anxieties and give me peace in exchange. Let the time between now and Christmas be like a wave that sweeps me into shore, a walking upon the sea, a revealation in Your faithfulness, grace and perfect will. Help me to Be still and practice the fact that You are God. Help me endure longsuffering. Give me mercies new every morning to be sustained. And make a great name for Yourself. Lift Your name on high for Your eternal glory and crown, forever and ever. Amen.
Anyway, lunch was better (salad and apple). I did a few things at work and came home and for the first time in, I don't know, a year, I layed in my bed in the middle of the day. The darkness is coming upon us, because of the winter season and so my room felt dark and warm and I slept for about 50 minutes.
When I awoke, I laid there for about 85 minutes, realizing how paralyzed I felt. I wasn't overwhelmed, because I was like quietly praying the whole time. I recited the verses I meditated upon this morning when I exercised at the club for an hour. (I didn't want to do it, but the Lord enabled me, to give me the strength, because I really do depend upon Him to help me in these matters of health). As I laid in bed, I thought about and kind of numbered my anxieties. I won't bore you with the details.
The experience reminded me of in 1988 when I had to take part I of the National Board Exams during medical school and was totally so freaked out and anxious that I didn't study the entire summer that I was actually supposed to study for the test. Instead, I kept reciting Bible verses about how God was going to enable me to stand, and that He would help me. It was during that time I began the long road of realizing that God was really with me in regards to my being a doctor. "I know whom I have believed, and I am assured that He is able to guard what I have entrusted Him unto that day," from Timothy I think, was one of the verses I meditated upon that summer. I still felt anxious, but God did what He wanted to do in me anyway. I passed the boards. By the grace of God.
So, as I laid in my bed this afternoon, reflecting upon somewhat paralyzing anxiety, and prayed, well, the time went by and after awhile I got out of bed. My husband was cooking dinner (so nice!) and I came here to the computer.
Dear Great High Priest - the Lord Jesus Christ:
Thank You for being my God and Savior. Nobody has a better God and Savior than You! You are the God that saves me from myself, from my enemies, from my past and from the future. You are the God who holds me by Your righteous right hand and will not let me go. You are the God who is pleased to reveal Himself to the humble and contrite. You are my God, my Redeemer, my Hope, my Salvation. Lord, take my anxieties and give me peace in exchange. Let the time between now and Christmas be like a wave that sweeps me into shore, a walking upon the sea, a revealation in Your faithfulness, grace and perfect will. Help me to Be still and practice the fact that You are God. Help me endure longsuffering. Give me mercies new every morning to be sustained. And make a great name for Yourself. Lift Your name on high for Your eternal glory and crown, forever and ever. Amen.
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 6:36 PM
4 Comments:
Oh, yes! What a prayer warrior!
Isn't strange how foods will effect your whole body as well as your mind? I need help with that too. I'm a snacker...not a healthy one.
Oh, tell your daughter she is most welcome at my site! I've three chapters of my fairies book posted on my F.A.I.R.I.E.S. blogsite. It is really for girls ages 10 and up. But boys seem to like it too...the military theme. Let her know that I would love to hear what she thinks about it!
Amen!....your prayer put tears in my eyes.
Philippians 4:6-7 are my favourite verses...hope to share with you!
By the way, what was the great book that you read twice over summer?
Phil 4:13 is my favorite. you just hang in there, the Lord is faithful.
And stop eating all that junk, before you go into a sugar coma! Or gain 30 pounds. Yikes! :-)
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