Dana asked
Dana asked, "I haven't heard you say anything about adoption for awhile, is that something you still want to do or has your mind changed.
And how are your real mom and dad?"
My mind of adoption has not changed. However, God has shut that door at this time, but I think that He has something like that for my husband and me for the future.
Have you ever felt like God inspired you for something and it got you super charged up and excited? Have you ever felt like you had a burning bush experience like Moses?
Remember when Moses was inspired as a young lad of 40 years old to rescue the children of Israel from Egypt? God inspired him in that and then he tried to do it in himself. He wasn't being bad, just immature. Like a baby learning to walk. Takes a few steps and thinks he can run. If the stairs were nearby he'd fall down the whole flight.
Well, I think that God did inform me that He was going to be doing something like adoption in our family. Upon having this inspirational experience, I got so excited and preceded with adoption plans. The confusing thing about the whole thing was that the doors all seemed open for the process, so I figured that I was in the middle of God's will.
I remember at one point having a flash of a thought that Matt (the child we almost got approved to adopt - we were one of three families from a large stack) was not in God's will for us to adopt, but in my enthusiasm and earnestness, I did not pick up that red flag, but now in retrospect I know just when that was.
Moses failed when he tried to be the hero of Israel at age 40. He killed a guy in the process. He then ran away, like Simba from the Lion King running away from Scar - "Run away, run away, and don't ever come back!"
At age 80 while Moses was cruising the hills with his sheep, he noticed a bush that was burning but wasn't burned up. God spoke to him that he would in fact be a deliverer of the Israelites. Moses was older and wiser, and essentially, ready.
When God shut the door on the adoption process for us, to me it was just an indication that God was going to do an adoption or something like an adoption, in His own time and His own way and when that time comes, it was be really great.
Even now as I write this, God is comforting me, and that He is perhaps even re-assuring me that it will come, in His time.
At this time, God is not bringing about the adoption. I think it is for a later time. It may not be a legal adoption. It may be somebody that God brings into our family that we love like a child and who adopts us, so to speak.
There are many things that I want to do and that I would like to do for God, but He has really limited my path to a very narrow walkway. He has limited the opportunities and the things that I can do, because He is guiding me along a very specific path. Paul said that it is foolish for people to judge themselves, or to compare themselves with themselves.
At this time in my life, for reasons unknown to me, I think that God wants me to allow my work to be more prominent than I would otherwise have it to be. I believe that He has called me to use the gift of administration over the next several years, and to get this MBA and to let my light shine before men so that they may see my good works and glorify God who is in heaven. I believe that He wants to administer things in the course of this world that I can not see through His church (see Ephesians) so that He can effect some specific things for His own plans and purposes and He wants to use me.
So I will walk in His ways as much as I can. I will attempt to be lead by His Holy Spirit. I would rather hang around the house and teach home school to a boy who needs a home. I would rather my children didn't grow up. I am not in charge of my life. I was bought with a price. I am not my own. I serve at the pleasure of the One who made me out of His own image. I will go where I am called.
And if the MBA program is not of Him, that door will too close.
Regarding my "real mom and dad..."
Oh my! What a soap opera! How many chapters can I write? What to say now? Hummmmmmmm.......
Both my real and non-real (but I don't know which is which - do you?) fathers are dead. The sad thing is that it gives me peace to know that I don't have any obligations on me because they are dead, and there isn't anything that I need to do, other than pay respects to my step-mother and uncle, aunts, which doesn't require much.
It was sad when they died, and I cried and grieved for my father - oh, that's the real one, the one I cried and grieved over as I recalled how the little girl in me loved him, and how I recalled how the little girl in me bonded enough to him to cry and grieve. The adult girl didn't really cry for my father, because the adult girl didn't really have a connection with him, except for being criticized. The little girl missed him. And then that grief was over. Now things are peaceful.
Now, for my mothers....
My grandmother is 93. My second mother is 73. My original mother is 63. My grandmother is in pretty good shape. My second mother does a great job running her life and taking care of her, which is what she was born to do - take over and run and control every aspect of somebody else's life (just don't come near mine with those eyes of power and control). I am blessed that they are in good health and my mother really does pamper Grandma and she doesn't mind being "run."
The original mother is probably mad at me, as she has been for the past seven years or so, since I gave her the brush-off due to the mounting family problems since my second mother is insanely jealous and I figured she had the "right of ownership." (Is this how a child in a custody battle feels? A 44 year old child?) My original mother is nice on the outside. I'll stop there. She has an open hand and open pocketbook and is ready to suck up anything that looks attractive, but will always say "thank you."
Oh gee. I guess I have some issues. I didn't realize that they were all so close to the surface. Maybe God can do something with my issues. I think I need to pray more for them. That will help me.
Well, Dana, thanks for asking!
Today, I am nameless, but those who know who I am, know who I am!
And how are your real mom and dad?"
My mind of adoption has not changed. However, God has shut that door at this time, but I think that He has something like that for my husband and me for the future.
Have you ever felt like God inspired you for something and it got you super charged up and excited? Have you ever felt like you had a burning bush experience like Moses?
Remember when Moses was inspired as a young lad of 40 years old to rescue the children of Israel from Egypt? God inspired him in that and then he tried to do it in himself. He wasn't being bad, just immature. Like a baby learning to walk. Takes a few steps and thinks he can run. If the stairs were nearby he'd fall down the whole flight.
Well, I think that God did inform me that He was going to be doing something like adoption in our family. Upon having this inspirational experience, I got so excited and preceded with adoption plans. The confusing thing about the whole thing was that the doors all seemed open for the process, so I figured that I was in the middle of God's will.
I remember at one point having a flash of a thought that Matt (the child we almost got approved to adopt - we were one of three families from a large stack) was not in God's will for us to adopt, but in my enthusiasm and earnestness, I did not pick up that red flag, but now in retrospect I know just when that was.
Moses failed when he tried to be the hero of Israel at age 40. He killed a guy in the process. He then ran away, like Simba from the Lion King running away from Scar - "Run away, run away, and don't ever come back!"
At age 80 while Moses was cruising the hills with his sheep, he noticed a bush that was burning but wasn't burned up. God spoke to him that he would in fact be a deliverer of the Israelites. Moses was older and wiser, and essentially, ready.
When God shut the door on the adoption process for us, to me it was just an indication that God was going to do an adoption or something like an adoption, in His own time and His own way and when that time comes, it was be really great.
Even now as I write this, God is comforting me, and that He is perhaps even re-assuring me that it will come, in His time.
At this time, God is not bringing about the adoption. I think it is for a later time. It may not be a legal adoption. It may be somebody that God brings into our family that we love like a child and who adopts us, so to speak.
There are many things that I want to do and that I would like to do for God, but He has really limited my path to a very narrow walkway. He has limited the opportunities and the things that I can do, because He is guiding me along a very specific path. Paul said that it is foolish for people to judge themselves, or to compare themselves with themselves.
At this time in my life, for reasons unknown to me, I think that God wants me to allow my work to be more prominent than I would otherwise have it to be. I believe that He has called me to use the gift of administration over the next several years, and to get this MBA and to let my light shine before men so that they may see my good works and glorify God who is in heaven. I believe that He wants to administer things in the course of this world that I can not see through His church (see Ephesians) so that He can effect some specific things for His own plans and purposes and He wants to use me.
So I will walk in His ways as much as I can. I will attempt to be lead by His Holy Spirit. I would rather hang around the house and teach home school to a boy who needs a home. I would rather my children didn't grow up. I am not in charge of my life. I was bought with a price. I am not my own. I serve at the pleasure of the One who made me out of His own image. I will go where I am called.
And if the MBA program is not of Him, that door will too close.
Regarding my "real mom and dad..."
Oh my! What a soap opera! How many chapters can I write? What to say now? Hummmmmmmm.......
Both my real and non-real (but I don't know which is which - do you?) fathers are dead. The sad thing is that it gives me peace to know that I don't have any obligations on me because they are dead, and there isn't anything that I need to do, other than pay respects to my step-mother and uncle, aunts, which doesn't require much.
It was sad when they died, and I cried and grieved for my father - oh, that's the real one, the one I cried and grieved over as I recalled how the little girl in me loved him, and how I recalled how the little girl in me bonded enough to him to cry and grieve. The adult girl didn't really cry for my father, because the adult girl didn't really have a connection with him, except for being criticized. The little girl missed him. And then that grief was over. Now things are peaceful.
Now, for my mothers....
My grandmother is 93. My second mother is 73. My original mother is 63. My grandmother is in pretty good shape. My second mother does a great job running her life and taking care of her, which is what she was born to do - take over and run and control every aspect of somebody else's life (just don't come near mine with those eyes of power and control). I am blessed that they are in good health and my mother really does pamper Grandma and she doesn't mind being "run."
The original mother is probably mad at me, as she has been for the past seven years or so, since I gave her the brush-off due to the mounting family problems since my second mother is insanely jealous and I figured she had the "right of ownership." (Is this how a child in a custody battle feels? A 44 year old child?) My original mother is nice on the outside. I'll stop there. She has an open hand and open pocketbook and is ready to suck up anything that looks attractive, but will always say "thank you."
Oh gee. I guess I have some issues. I didn't realize that they were all so close to the surface. Maybe God can do something with my issues. I think I need to pray more for them. That will help me.
Well, Dana, thanks for asking!
Today, I am nameless, but those who know who I am, know who I am!
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 8:27 PM
9 Comments:
wow, sounds like alot going on. I am working through alot of things with my own mother. She never gave any of us up, but she's definately has a favorite.
I have a little sister who is eight years younger than I, a sister two years older and a brother four years older. My mother is sick, my older sister and I take care of her the best we can. We have her in her own home, with caregivers, but bring her to ours as needed.
My younger sister does nothing, but tell my mother she can come live with her, then tells us she can't. She also asks my mother for money all the time and it makes it difficult for the rest of us, because we are paying for her care and her retirement helps do that. There has been over four thousand dollars of hot cks I have had to pick up due to the fact my younger sister was spending all of mom's money and there was none left to care for her. I finally got mother to sign over Power of Atty to me and took my sisters name off of the acct.
Mother has left her Cabin and everything to my younger sister. She is always saying we mistreat my sister which is not true. We have all catered to her, she is a spoiled rotten brat.
However, I don't have a problem with that, what I do have a problem with is her making it difficult on us as we struggle to take care of mom. If she would stop telling mother she could live with her, mom would be content, but she won't stop, I have tried to get her to, but....
So I feel guilty in one way for not taking mom into my home, but she won't stay and I feel angry at my younger sister for keeping the drama going. My brother does as little as possible, but at least he doesn't stir things up. My younger sister sees my mother maybe twice a year and lives about fifty miles from her.
I am not going to go on and on, but when it comes to family drama, I am very experienced. lol! God does give me grace in my time of need and I know He is teaching me things along my journey in this life, so I am growing and learning as we all are.
You will continue to be in my prayers Andrea. Please continue to lift us up!
Hi Andrea
God understands and knows who you're.
You're a very beloved child of God.
Jesus loves you, Andrea =)
Andrea,
After reading this post, I know God is definitely in control of your life. You are one of the most "together" people I've ever met (although I haven't met you personally; your writing says so much about you). You have a handle on life. You know God has a purpose for you (even if he's taking you one step at a time, helping you build more faith along the way). That's what it's all about.
I often hear God doesn't care so much about our comfort as he does about our character. So true. I often wonder why Christians seem to go through more trials than unbelievers. I know we're being prepared for something bigger and it may not be well defined yet, but in time it will be. The journey is the focus right now, where we are today. God will take care of tomorrow and what's to come. It's important to keep on keepin' on and not let our spirits get crushed by day-to-day problems. We all have our issues and we are here to help build each other up. There's no other way to go but UP!
I will pray for you and it touched my heart that you opened up your heart and let us in on some of your family history. You continue to inspire and amaze me with what God is doing in your life. The Moses analogy is perfect! I can relate to much of what you're saying. Although my story is not your story, our insecurities and concerns are the same. Our source for strength and comfort is the same. Our final destination is the same. We are more alike, all of us who blog and read each other's blogs, than we are different.
This is a great place for Christian fellowship and frienship. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Write me anytime!
Ileana
The most selfless people in the world consider adoption. What a big, kind heart you must have. Inspiring that you are allowing God to lead. Parental issues - there's a toughie. I agree, prayer can help with that!
Wow your life is so exciting, and I'm sure that you'll continue to be used by God mightily like how He used Moses.
You are not nameless, many of us know who are you, and you are a blessing to us!
I too believe that God will close doors that we somehow thought were right and will save those for a later date. His time is perfect.
Your family situation sounds complicated, but then whose isn't??haha
Maybe you do need some prayer for all those mothers of yours...:)
Hi dear sis, thanks for visiting my blog and blessing me. It must have been, like Little House on the Prairie in MN, I reckon.
Its great that God has so many wonderful turns in your life. You have special experiences that you could use in a sermon and you won't have to borrow from someone else, they will be yours alone I think thats a blessing. Elijah didnt have to quote from someone else's life about bringing fire down, Moses didnt have to quote from other's life when he parted the sea, Jesus didnt have to quote someone else when He died for our sins. They were living testimonies and so are you and i in this network of lives knitted together.
I am so glad in the fact that you share your precious life lessons with us, and have become a greater blessing to all.
God Bless you and more power to ya sis.
I am overwhelmed and feel so blessed of the Lord. I'll continue my comments on the next blog.
I'm so glad that I'm checking your archives tonight... I was wondering about the adoption progress and I just chose "September" to start looking for your continued story.
God is so amazing, and I love that you see sometimes He just wants us to have a willingness, so that He can do His work and we won't fight Him.
That's what I'm trying to do these days, but I am afraid that I am going to let my chance pass by. I want to do more than I am currently doing, but not TOO much. I am sure you understand just what I mean.
Anyway, it was inspiring to read your update, and confusing about your two sets of parents. I'm so blessed to have the parents I have. I never would have told you that 15 years ago, but now, I know it's true!
God Bless!
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