"But by My Spirit"

I don't like roller coasters. My family loves the Six Flag Theme Parks, but not me. I hate roller coasters. But I love the excitement of life and that feels like a roller coaster sometimes.

I suppose I do love those sudden turns and drops. My adrenaline soars and I guess I am addicted to my own endorphins.

My mind has been spinning the last several nights. One thing after another. Go, go, go. Then I drop off to sleep or in the day, settle myself with a cup of Venti decafe and a ten minute break between attractions.

My children are doing fabulous, but I don't want to get into that right now. I suppose only to say that God is building them up to be leaders. He is building me up to be a leader. But somewhere inside of me, like between my ears and my knees, I know that am not equipped.

But then I remember David and Goliath, Daniel and the Lion's Den, my own past successes in Him, and I think about my King, the King of Kings. My Lord. He is the Master in the Air Tower Control Center and He does whatever He wants. He makes rich and brings down low. He has called me to a time such as this. I will yield to Him and His pleasure because it is not by my might, strength or power, but it is by the Spirit of the Lord, says the Lord of Hosts.

So, here I go.

I am tall enough to ride this ride. Tall enough to reach for the stars. Old enough to fly. Wise enough to lose myself to the only One who holds the whole world in His hands.

There is a new position that is opening up at my work and I am applying for it. Let me be more blunt. It is the main doctor who runs the place and oversees the other doctors. That is the position that is opening up.

I don’t work in a large hospital, but there are probably 12 or 14 doctors there daily. The current medical director is stepping down May 1st. I have been his temporary replacement when he has been gone before. I have been secretly waiting for this position for years. I think that I am in the best strategic position to actually get the job. The current Medical Director has recommended me to be the new Medical Director and I think that CEO wants to see me in this position. She wants to meet with me out for lunch Thursday. To talk about my interest in being the Acting Medical Director and then permanent Medical Director. However, there is a process that will roll out for probably a couple of months and other people will apply for the position. And if I am given this stewardship, there will be arrows aimed at my head, because that is the nature of leadership.

Meanwhile, there is a two and a half week vacation scheduled for me and my daughter that is in the middle of what seems to be the “wrong” time, but do I not know? God is the ruler of all things, over time and the epochs. He is not surprised about the time glitch.

As I look back over my life, do I not see that there have always been the in-your-face distractions that seem so big at the time but aren’t big with the passing of the moment?

Oh my prayer for myself this next day and the upcoming days and months! That God’s hand would bless me! Because I have asked and because I want to do His will and be pleasing to Him, not to just spend success on my own lusts but I desire His pleasure. He has my life and He owns my time. He may do what He wants with me, and as He has given me this day and this daily serving of bread; I will put to my lips and eat with pleasure. I will swallow the goodness He has brought to my taste. Oh, the honey He has given to me. Yet, I will not desire the king’s food, but be satisfied with what the Lord Himself feeds me. I do not want the things of this world or the passing pleasures of sin for a season. I want to fellowship with the Spirit of the Lord forever and sit with Him and dine with my Father in His presence forever.

So, bless your servant, Father. As Jesus asked Peter to lower the nets for a catch, so I lower my net. Are You not asking dear Lord? Is this not Your voice I hear and that I hearken to?

Fill up my boat with blessing too great for me alone to carry! May those around me have their boats filled also, and my Your bountiful hand come to us. May Your wrath be far from us, and may Your goodness go out before us, that we would walk in Your ways and seek to bless those around us with Your love and patience.

May my response be that of Peter’s when You filled His boat with the fish – on his face like a dead man – for You alone are God and You alone are holy and I, oh my God, am a sinful man! The separation from me and You ought to be so great for Thou art holy and I am not. Yet You have chosen to dine with me and have provided the means to that communion by Your own blood. You choose the weak and simple things of this world to profound the wise. You show the administration in the heavenlies that Thou art great and Your wisdom alone stands.

So in my weakness, in the space between my ears and my knees that is jellyfish, You alone be my ever present help in time of need.

I will go. Go with me, go. Teach me and I will hear You, for You art my great God and Your pleasure is my desire because communion with You is the fullness of life while I am on earth.

Bless my meeting tomorrow and the upcoming meetings and bring Your servant into the position You desire. For it is You alone whom I serve and I am unworthy, but I am so happy really, because I am Your workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that Thou has prepared beforehand that I might walk in them.

Great is the glory of God and all those on earth and in the heavens shall one day see it as our Lord returns to rule and reign with His people forever. Amen.