Follow up

Read the last entry if you haven't yet. Anyway, church yesterday was so awesome. I had emailed my pastor and a couple close friends my blog entry from last time to ask for their prayer support and let them know what was happening. I feel so supported.

The sermon yesterday at church was so on target for what I am going through, and applicable for my fear that I face at times. It was about that God does not give us a spirit of fear but of, what is that verse? Of faith and power and a sound mind. Also, that God puts words in our mouths when we don't know what to say, so we don't have to pre-plan everything or worry. Also, it was about how our testimony of our Christian witness in behavior and deed is a purifying influence in the community and a restraining influence until/before the time of tribulation. It encouraged me with boldness of standing firm in Him. It also encouraged me for the struggles that are at the hospital and gave me insights.

I was studying the Bible last week and the NIV in I Corinthians chapter 2 spoke of God's "manifestation of His Spirit for the common good" in "messages of wisdom," and "messages of knowledge" Also, the morning before my the lunch meeting to discuss my being the Medical Director of the hospital, I read in Ephesians Chapter 1 about God giving us wisdom and a spirit of revelation in Him. I found these verses to encourage me and to guide me and explain that God Himself was/is manifesting Himself, "for the common good." I am encouraged that God is bearing His fruit and maybe I don't see it because I am not putting the (flesh) effort into the process, but just staying connected to the Vine. It's His work.

I just sat there in church and was thinking, "I can't believe that this is happening to me."

I used to feel that I was dying a slow and painful death, year upon year of my personal misery and misfortune. Life was so hard. That was years ago when I had such struggles and was new in my faith. I tried to do things, and accomplish things in my flesh and when opportunities were not granted me I was so let down and crushed. Finally, I found my strength in the Lord and peace and life there and frankly, sort of, at times, forgot about the rest.

But secretly the longing for certain opportunities were there, semi-dormant inside of me. I covered those seeds with my own shame of having them. But is God's seed that wouldn't correctly grow in and of my own effort. It is God's fruit.

So, anyway, the meeting for the Medical Directorship went fabulous. I think anyway. May God complete the work that He has begun in me.


There is a great song that we sang at church yesterday. Some of the phrases go like this:

"I'm satisfied by Your love so completely,
How can I thirst for the praises of men?"

"Such peace and contentment I've found in your grace,
I can't think why I've ever complained,
I'm sustained."

"I don't need men's applause,
when I wonder my worth,
I remember the cross,
I'm sustained."

"When Your light surrounds me, the world goes away."

Pray that God would lead and direct the rest of the process! Thanks!