I'm Blessed!

What a blessing that it is to share with you!

Today my daughter traveled into her 50th State. Yesterday I entered into my 50th State (that is because I have been to Connecticut before but she hadn't).

Today was kind of depressing, and then I realized that was because I just accomplished this really big goal and that is the way that that goes. I mean, there is the excitement for having gotten it done, and then there is the let down that is normal. The thing to do in that situation is to focus on your new goals.

Before I focused on the new goals, I thought about really what a big accomplishment that this was, that the Lord has been so gracious to let my daughter and I share. 50 states visited. Even if there was only one day per state, that is 50 days. Then there is Alaska and Hawaii. This has been quite an adventure for us over these past 5 years since we really set to doing this mother/daughter adventure. And the money and the time and support from hubby and other family, and, yeah. Wow. What fun it has been, but I am glad it is over, and just in time. For this time in my life is changing. This adventure began when I was home schooling my children. This adventure also involved the other family members for awhile, until it seemed that it was just going to be my daughter and I to carry it all the way home.

Now times are a-changing. Next summer my daughter will graduate high school. Currently, my life is going 90 degrees somewhere else, and just in time because my kids are growing up and my husband is becoming increasingly perfectly involved and perfected as an active and involved father. I am allowed by God to get more involved in my work and it is perfect for me, because my kids are transitioning onward and that is hard for me to deal with. Becoming more consumed in a different area, helps my family to grow naturally without an overbearing person breathing down their necks.

So, for the new goals. I made a list. But before I made the list, I realized what I really want. Not goals. Not accomplishments in this world. There is one thing I want. One thing I have. One thing I am looking forward to and it is found in Romans 6:5.

"Certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection."

Oh, to be like Him. But I suppose better than even that, is to be with Him. Who cares what I am, if I am with Him, in Him, seen by Him? That is fulfillment. What earthly goal compares?

"He is enough for me!" as the song goes. Oh, to find our fulfillment in Him, to rest in Him and be known in Him.

Okay, the new goals. What were they again?

Oh yeah. That I could be a successful medical director at my hospital for like ten years. That I would get my MBA in these next two years. That I would receieve what the Lord has laid out for me to accept my husband and family wrapping their world around my little career and likewise that I would accept the hospital wrapping itself around my being the medical director. Oh, and this is a good one - that I would love people from the depth of the heart according to Christ - and I wouldn't waiver, or be ashamed, but I would do it anyway. Other goals, that I would help my daughter get into her college program. That I would get right back into the eating and exercise program once I get back home from this trip and that I would be the Precepts Bible Teacher and allow the Lord to grow that according to His direction and plan. And all these things are up to God. If He wants to do them. But you know, God is so cool. He has really blessed me and my goals, but I have tried to construct these goals, not according to my flesh, but as I think they are consistent with God's working.

There is a really cool verse that I found in Colossians, I think it is there. It talks about Paul's purpose and says how he labors and "and striving according to God's power that works mightily in me."

Isn't that cool? To be running unencumbered, "striving" but not according to the flesh, but according to God's power and consistent with His purpose for our lives and that the power of God and the Holy Spirit would be mighty in us.

Remember, keep getting filled. Keep the tank filled with God's perspective and not our own ideas and thoughts of our little selves. Keep free from the drag that pulls us down and remember that when you are down for a day, that is called NORMAL. When you are discouraged because you give and give and who gives to you, that is called NORMAL and go on. And stop for more gas.

God bless you, and may you be filled in the inner man with His power that works mightily in you. For God's pleasure, be filled.

Amen!

Vacation yet with nagging fears

I'm on vacation and in New Hampshire. Today is Memorial Day. I'm glad that I don't have anyone I love in battle in Iraq or elsewhere. How scary.

Life is scary. Faith is not for the timid. What frightens me now? Well, money - not having what I need for my child's school next year that I think the Lord is having her go to, and not having enough money to pay for my school program with the MBA. But where God guides, God provides. However, He often takes to the final little step and waa-laa, provides, meanwhile you get two ulcers while your faith is stretched.

What also scares me is that I am taking too much time off on this big, long two and a half week vacation. But God has been with me for all of these big, long vacations over the years during which time my daughter and I have visited 48-49 states - will complete all 50 in the next couple of days!

I'm looking forward to work. But I guess, while we are talking about fears, that, what if people rebel against the idea of ME being in charge there?

I have always had fears, but I have always had this weird and super-propelling motivation to overcome. To overcome misconceptions about me that had been placed upon me since the time I was born. I felt like I was mislabeled, misplaced, misdirected and without choice or vote. So I raised up and made a difference. Worked hard and well. Then I was somebody that people didn't expect, because they didn't actually listen in the first place. Now I am at a place that I enjoy work, do it well, know how to lead, know how to trust God and do justly and to lead in the fear of the Lord. And I think God has opened doors for me. And I want to walk in them.

Then there are the fears that distract me, but there have always been the fears and will always be the fears. Except these past two days, because I have become actually lazy and relaxed on this trip.

I realize that one can comfortably (or at least me) adjust to either six or ten hours of sleep a night. Anywhere inbetween, but less or more is a problem. Ten is nice. Lazy. Yeah.

Do you feel like an idiot?

I feel like an idiot when I care about something and put my heart out there and feel like I am all alone out there. Do you ever feel that way? Do you know what I mean?

It's like. It's like I am an out-front sort-of person. Life is too short to ignore what I am feeling, so I like to put it out there. Like you know, this blog for example. It is easier to say what is on my mind that to not to do that. And in life, it is easier to care about someone that you care about than not to. It is easier to go for something than not to.

But then. There it is. The idiot spectacle. Like you're the only one that has shown up to that party. Wearing the funny get-up. Like you're the one who said the joke that nobody else laughed at. All alone. Ha, ha. Funny. Right.

I read something great in the Bible tonight. It is located in Ephesians. It says that we have "boldness and confident assess through faith in Christ." You know, I suppose that is talking about boldness and confident assess to God through Jesus. I'd have to go back and revisit the text. However, even if the text was speaking about that more limited situation, there is also the verse in Proverbs that speaks of "the righteous are as bold as a lion."

There is a part of me that is running hard and I just don't want to trip onto my big face. I don't want to regret and live in hesitancy, but I don't want to be an idiot either.

I know! It is time for a prayer!!!!!!!

"My Great and Perfect Heavenly Father God in heaven who hears me and loves me:

Father God, you know the exact situation that happened this evening to which I am referring. I pray in Jesus name, that You, dear Father, would bless my words and my thoughts that I put forth this evening in Your Son's name. Help me not to look overly emotional or unbalanced. Help that You would put out of the recipient’s mind anything that the devil would try to put in there and You, dear Father would protect our communication. Father. Commune. Communication - bless that between the recipient and I tonight in Jesus name. Let that person see the love of Christ and not be afraid of You and to step out in boldness and receive the love of the Father and the peace that comes from obedience. Father, let those who are reading this blog pray along with me and may You hear their prayers on my behalf and reward them specifically in heaven. Father, for this recipient, please enable that person to not be disobedient to Your vision, Your plan and Your ways and method. Also, Father please help me to be patient and calm and waiting and not frightening to the recipient. Rather, let our communication be as water to a thirst and calm to a rough sea. Help me to be the way You want. Please bless my ability to be the specific type of worker that You would have me to be. Please further Your cause tonight and bless me specifically in this communication as she thinks about what I have said. In Jesus' name and for His glory. Amen”

Faith is the reality

Today when I went to Starbucks there was a laminated card that someone had placed on a table. It was a track about the salvation of Jesus Christ. The version of the Bible had the famous quotation from that Hebrews verse that goes (according to my remembrance of the familiar rendition): “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the essence of things not yet seen.” The version on the card that was left on the table went something like this: “Faith is the reality…” I thought about that repeatedly throughout the day today. “Faith is the reality.” Faith is reality. Reality is not the things we see. Reality is the things God sees. See with the eyes of God. That is our challenge today. The things that are difficult help us to exercise our spiritual eyes, as we strain to see Him. As we realize we need Him. As we try to embrace Him to help us.

“Praise, praise we lift our hearts and praise, praise,” as a familiar song goes. Sometimes it is easier than other times. But all times are in His hands. Good times and bad times, but in His hands all things are made into good because God has a plan for our lives. A Plan for good and not for harm.

So we need to trust in Him. Those things that break us, break us and hurt us, but He lifts us up again. When He lifts us we are more refined, more pure, more golden and are lives are a greater reflection of who He is. He is pleased. We are becoming transformed into His image. Our minds are being renewed. He smiles. “Well done.” Can’t you hear it? Don’t you want to hear it? Let your life go and fall into the mighty and holy and capable arms of the living God. Let the cry of the depth of your heart be, “Catch me, here I collapse as all of my strength is released into the trust of who You are.”

So let us give ourselves to the task at hand. Let us run and labor with our whole strength in Him, yet not of ourselves but the strength of God in us. Let us hold the plow and not look back. When God chooses you and brings you to a new point, when He has chosen to define you in such a way that is pleasing to Him, don’t turn back and look at yourself in any other way again.

You are His workmanship. He sees us as we really are, pure and blameless in the Beloved. Obey the minute you hear His voice and do what He says with first time obedience. Do not spurn the grace of God.

Blessings to you all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is it

"We fight not against flesh and blood."

"Stand firm therefore."

I love the verses in the Bible that speak about working hard and letting your hands be strong, and about having your work rewarded. I never ran into so many verses like that.

It is such an encouragement when I know that God is with me.

I like the verses in Ephesians that speak of being filled up with the fullness of God. In Christ, we can carry out His purpose in our lives.

I like remembering that I am a creation of His. I do not have any innate Spiritual capacity. I am poor in Spirit. I am a clay pot. I am His vessel. Everything is for Him and to Him and by Him. Anything apart from Him is just silly, at its best - worthless.

So carry on in the fullness of Christ, dear Friends, for our redemption is drawing near!

Candy of the mind

I feel like someone gave me the keys to the candy store. I have trouble sleeping because of all the excitment I can barely contain in this human body and I don't even eat as much (except right now I am munching on chocolate and making up for it)! I feel like all my life has been a perfect set up for right now. I feel happy, giddy and trying to repeat over and over about not giving in to pride. I feel like I am holding the world in my hands yet I have given up the whole world, yet there it is. All the candy in the world. Yet, it is given up. Yet there. For me to enjoy. Am I dreaming? How can I be? I can't even sleep. Hello? Hello? Are you still there? Hummm.....this is nice.