Vacation yet with nagging fears
I'm on vacation and in New Hampshire. Today is Memorial Day. I'm glad that I don't have anyone I love in battle in Iraq or elsewhere. How scary.
Life is scary. Faith is not for the timid. What frightens me now? Well, money - not having what I need for my child's school next year that I think the Lord is having her go to, and not having enough money to pay for my school program with the MBA. But where God guides, God provides. However, He often takes to the final little step and waa-laa, provides, meanwhile you get two ulcers while your faith is stretched.
What also scares me is that I am taking too much time off on this big, long two and a half week vacation. But God has been with me for all of these big, long vacations over the years during which time my daughter and I have visited 48-49 states - will complete all 50 in the next couple of days!
I'm looking forward to work. But I guess, while we are talking about fears, that, what if people rebel against the idea of ME being in charge there?
I have always had fears, but I have always had this weird and super-propelling motivation to overcome. To overcome misconceptions about me that had been placed upon me since the time I was born. I felt like I was mislabeled, misplaced, misdirected and without choice or vote. So I raised up and made a difference. Worked hard and well. Then I was somebody that people didn't expect, because they didn't actually listen in the first place. Now I am at a place that I enjoy work, do it well, know how to lead, know how to trust God and do justly and to lead in the fear of the Lord. And I think God has opened doors for me. And I want to walk in them.
Then there are the fears that distract me, but there have always been the fears and will always be the fears. Except these past two days, because I have become actually lazy and relaxed on this trip.
I realize that one can comfortably (or at least me) adjust to either six or ten hours of sleep a night. Anywhere inbetween, but less or more is a problem. Ten is nice. Lazy. Yeah.
Life is scary. Faith is not for the timid. What frightens me now? Well, money - not having what I need for my child's school next year that I think the Lord is having her go to, and not having enough money to pay for my school program with the MBA. But where God guides, God provides. However, He often takes to the final little step and waa-laa, provides, meanwhile you get two ulcers while your faith is stretched.
What also scares me is that I am taking too much time off on this big, long two and a half week vacation. But God has been with me for all of these big, long vacations over the years during which time my daughter and I have visited 48-49 states - will complete all 50 in the next couple of days!
I'm looking forward to work. But I guess, while we are talking about fears, that, what if people rebel against the idea of ME being in charge there?
I have always had fears, but I have always had this weird and super-propelling motivation to overcome. To overcome misconceptions about me that had been placed upon me since the time I was born. I felt like I was mislabeled, misplaced, misdirected and without choice or vote. So I raised up and made a difference. Worked hard and well. Then I was somebody that people didn't expect, because they didn't actually listen in the first place. Now I am at a place that I enjoy work, do it well, know how to lead, know how to trust God and do justly and to lead in the fear of the Lord. And I think God has opened doors for me. And I want to walk in them.
Then there are the fears that distract me, but there have always been the fears and will always be the fears. Except these past two days, because I have become actually lazy and relaxed on this trip.
I realize that one can comfortably (or at least me) adjust to either six or ten hours of sleep a night. Anywhere inbetween, but less or more is a problem. Ten is nice. Lazy. Yeah.
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 5:57 AM
3 Comments:
Enjoy your vacation..i for one cannot even imagine 2 and half weeks off..all at once..so enjoy!
:)
I love NH. There's a little inn in N. Conway called The Cabernet Inn run by a couple originally from Miami, and we had a great time there. Very romantic in the winter. Love Nestlenook Farms and Jackson. I hope you enjoy your visit. Let us know how it goes!
Fear not -- especially about money.
When he'd pay a bill, my dad used to tell the cashier, "That's my last dollar, but don't worry about it. There's plenty more where that went".
Post a Comment
<< Home