Who I am

I am an accident of a child who was born into the wrong family twice. I am a sinner who has known the fury or her own rage and wrath as a small child and knows how to kill from the heart. I am ill-equiped, ill-defined and lack self control.

"There's another place, where our Father waits, where every knee shall bow, where sin will have no trace."

I don't expect you to understand. "No, she's not really a sinner like that. She's not really that bad. She ought not to think of herself that way."

What is truth? Truth is reality, whether we like to see it or not.

I prayed today.

I remember when I prayed when I was 28 years old and studying for part I of the National Boards. I had a prayer session with the Lord in which I accepted that He had willed me to be a doctor and He WAS going to see me through and every person I touched and everything I did would be in Jesus' name. It was like an oath that I received from God. That I also gave to God.

Well today, I give a similar oath and receive a similar oath. I am not of myself. Seeing my own lack, my own deep internal sense of who I am is okay. Everybody has fears and knowledge like I do. So what? Covering it up is just silly. God takes and uses the weak things of the world to profound the wise. He loves the simple. "Do not be wise in your own understanding." God will be with me and He will enable me to stand and He will fulfill His purpose for my life in HIm for the Son's glory and eternal purpose that I can not fully understand at all.

So God, be with me and be my legs so that I amy stand. Be my arms that I may give. Be my hope that I may live and love and be my heart so I may go forth in power and in truth. Fulfill Your purpose for my life. I am Yours alone.

"Every knee will bow, and sin will have no trace as we see His face and stand in His amazing grace."