I guess I'm not concentrating after all.

Yesterday I got a call from my Gyn MD's medical assistant. My regular doctor actually is on maternity leave so another doctor is filling in, and asked that I be called.

"The pap smear had atypical glanular and endothelial cells. Can you come in tomorrow for a biopsy?"

"Well, what's the longest I can put it off?"

I decided to go in today and meet the replacement doctor. Not that I really knew the other doctor. I only met her twice and in fact at the second appointment I didn't recognize her from the time before.

At today's appointment, I immediately realized that the replacement doctor resembled me physically. Tall, blond, normal weight in her mid 40's. And a little anxious. She was nice.

I let her know I became a psychiatrist because I like more information and not less (and to let her know to tell me the medical facts without a lot of explanation).

I didn't waste any time."So what is the risk that I have cancer?"

"Less than ten percent."

I thought to myself, "what is less than ten percent?" In business that is 9.99. So later, I told my husband there was a ten percent risk. But is it ten or seven or three? What the hell is "less than ten percent?" Later, concerned that I exagerated I told my husband in the context of a sentence about the "less than ten percent" chance anything more is coming out of this. This was my clarification that Dr. G actually said "less than ten percent" and not "ten percent."

I figure it is more than ten percent risk that I have cancer because what doctor isn't going to error on side of down-playing risk?

So, having a procedure done in the infamous pap smear position is a little like having a dental procedure. Which I hate. Held captive. You get to stare at the ceiling.

But the anticipation is so much worse than the actual pain involved.

"A big pinch here"

How does that contrast with when a doctor says "a little pinch here?"see part two to come.