He makes all things new
New List of prayer requests now that I have been fasting for over two days and counting:
I have never fasted for so long. I ask myself why I am doing this. I feel like one of those people who are writing their last words while trapped in a cave away from oxygen or the man who was trapped in the desert when his arm got caught (he cut it off) and away from water. They knew that they were going to be dying soon. No, I will not be dying soon. I will be eating soon, and will forget where I am now.
Aren't I melodramatic? I have just had a flash of an old memory that I think that I have long forgotten. My mother saying, "Oh, Andrea, don't be so melodramatic." I used (“used?” you say) to be. Used to rant and rave and try to control everything. I wonder where my daughter got it.
Okay, so now that I am FASTING (never mind that I completely FAIL the request of Jesus, that when you are fasting, don't act like you are fasting and make a big deal out of it. However, blogger friends, you all are the only ones that know I am fasting, and I suppose it may be okay to go and cry somewhere. As I told my son who was crying the other day when my daughter said, "you're crying," and I said to my daughter, but really to my son, "he's not a machine; he's a human being." Yeah. I am not a machine, and I am even more (vulnerable) than a human being. I am a woman.
So, as I was saying:
Okay, so now that I am FASTING, and have been reflecting upon why I am (expletive) doing this, I thought that maybe there is a reason that God wants me to do this. So what does He want to tell me, now that I am listening? I thought, as I was awakened at 2:30 in the morning, that I should write out a new list of prayer requests that God would have me to write. I've written mine, and prayed mine, and there are several more hours to go until the 72 hour mark which I figure is about 3:45 PM - but I can't remember exactly, just like I can't remember exactly the day or even month that I was saved (March or April 1984), because I didn't write it down, so I guess God didn't want me to remember it exactly. But how am I to know exactly when I can eat after 72 hours and still make that mark, and yet not put off eating any longer? - Which I love to do and which I am dying to do? Answer: because it does not (expletive) matter (yeah, I became a Christian after I learned how to swear) that I make the (expletive) 72 hour mark, or alternatively, it does matter if I fast a little bit longer than 72 hours and get no glory for it. Got all that? (I love being tangential. I read this book, BTW I’m not the New Me by Wendy McClure (several months back) and it was written from her blog, and she was wonderfully tangential, so I decided, since she was published and I even bought her book from a display table at Barnes and Noble, that I could be tangential too, and that my tangentiality could be wonderful (to me) just as hers was to me and obviously to the editors and promoters of her book. Isn’t that delightful?)
Oh, I think I am going to be sick. I should go back to sleep or eat. I will go back to sleep first, unless I throw up first. I wonder if I will ever fast again for two whole (expletive) days. Is this supposed to make you holy? It just shows how (expletive) weak and (expletive) self-righteous that I am. I have never cursed so much, even before I was a Christian for heaven's sake. What's up with that? -rhetorical.)
Okay, so here is a new prayer list that is in addition to the previous prayer list:
1) That I wouldn't be a worrier. Here’s a phrase to remember: “NO WORRIES.”
2) That I would walk with the assurance of Christ, that I would deeply know, feel and believe that HE will take care of me in ALL circumstances, that He loves me and ANYTHING that HE puts me through I can handle and will be good for me, for others and for His glory, because I am not of this world, just as HE is not of this world. Here’s a word: TRUST.
3) That I would go with the flow and He would flow through me STREAMS OF LIVING WATER (from John). Here’s another word: OBEY.
Gee, it is only three things long. Things are so much simpler with God. I pray that HE would give these things to me as a gift. I receive them now, by His power and grace, in Jesus' name, Amen. May He enable me to continue to receive these gifts. For the reader also, may you receive these gifts from Him. For His eternal, divine and perfect glory, Amen. Thank you and God bless you (I feel like a politician ending with that phrase – “And God bless the United States of America”). Love ya.
I have never fasted for so long. I ask myself why I am doing this. I feel like one of those people who are writing their last words while trapped in a cave away from oxygen or the man who was trapped in the desert when his arm got caught (he cut it off) and away from water. They knew that they were going to be dying soon. No, I will not be dying soon. I will be eating soon, and will forget where I am now.
Aren't I melodramatic? I have just had a flash of an old memory that I think that I have long forgotten. My mother saying, "Oh, Andrea, don't be so melodramatic." I used (“used?” you say) to be. Used to rant and rave and try to control everything. I wonder where my daughter got it.
Okay, so now that I am FASTING (never mind that I completely FAIL the request of Jesus, that when you are fasting, don't act like you are fasting and make a big deal out of it. However, blogger friends, you all are the only ones that know I am fasting, and I suppose it may be okay to go and cry somewhere. As I told my son who was crying the other day when my daughter said, "you're crying," and I said to my daughter, but really to my son, "he's not a machine; he's a human being." Yeah. I am not a machine, and I am even more (vulnerable) than a human being. I am a woman.
So, as I was saying:
Okay, so now that I am FASTING, and have been reflecting upon why I am (expletive) doing this, I thought that maybe there is a reason that God wants me to do this. So what does He want to tell me, now that I am listening? I thought, as I was awakened at 2:30 in the morning, that I should write out a new list of prayer requests that God would have me to write. I've written mine, and prayed mine, and there are several more hours to go until the 72 hour mark which I figure is about 3:45 PM - but I can't remember exactly, just like I can't remember exactly the day or even month that I was saved (March or April 1984), because I didn't write it down, so I guess God didn't want me to remember it exactly. But how am I to know exactly when I can eat after 72 hours and still make that mark, and yet not put off eating any longer? - Which I love to do and which I am dying to do? Answer: because it does not (expletive) matter (yeah, I became a Christian after I learned how to swear) that I make the (expletive) 72 hour mark, or alternatively, it does matter if I fast a little bit longer than 72 hours and get no glory for it. Got all that? (I love being tangential. I read this book, BTW I’m not the New Me by Wendy McClure (several months back) and it was written from her blog, and she was wonderfully tangential, so I decided, since she was published and I even bought her book from a display table at Barnes and Noble, that I could be tangential too, and that my tangentiality could be wonderful (to me) just as hers was to me and obviously to the editors and promoters of her book. Isn’t that delightful?)
Oh, I think I am going to be sick. I should go back to sleep or eat. I will go back to sleep first, unless I throw up first. I wonder if I will ever fast again for two whole (expletive) days. Is this supposed to make you holy? It just shows how (expletive) weak and (expletive) self-righteous that I am. I have never cursed so much, even before I was a Christian for heaven's sake. What's up with that? -rhetorical.)
Okay, so here is a new prayer list that is in addition to the previous prayer list:
1) That I wouldn't be a worrier. Here’s a phrase to remember: “NO WORRIES.”
2) That I would walk with the assurance of Christ, that I would deeply know, feel and believe that HE will take care of me in ALL circumstances, that He loves me and ANYTHING that HE puts me through I can handle and will be good for me, for others and for His glory, because I am not of this world, just as HE is not of this world. Here’s a word: TRUST.
3) That I would go with the flow and He would flow through me STREAMS OF LIVING WATER (from John). Here’s another word: OBEY.
Gee, it is only three things long. Things are so much simpler with God. I pray that HE would give these things to me as a gift. I receive them now, by His power and grace, in Jesus' name, Amen. May He enable me to continue to receive these gifts. For the reader also, may you receive these gifts from Him. For His eternal, divine and perfect glory, Amen. Thank you and God bless you (I feel like a politician ending with that phrase – “And God bless the United States of America”). Love ya.
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 3:43 AM
11 Comments:
I love your honesty at how fasting "feels" for you, and wondering how it's to make you holier... and how you think you've "blown it" because you're not acting as if you weren't fasting, and if a few minutes more or less will invalidate your fasting.
And then God blesses you with three the great things the Holy Spirit wants to help us with:
Don't worry, trust, obey.
May He continue to give you insights and empower you with His strength.
LOL....oh, Andrea, you make me laugh. I know all those same feelings...When I go off, I look wide-eyed and blame it on Turrets (not that I'm disparaging those that have the disease)
ROFLOL...It's almost over...you're awesome!
I loved your honesty. I am currently fasting, too, and will pray you make it through your third day!!! I'm doing a little different sort of fast--a fresh juice fast for health reasons. I tried water fasting and never could get past the 48 hour mark--not because I was hungry but because it hurt so bad, then researched and realized it is because of all the junk I've eaten my whole life--I'm full of toxins. So I'm planning to juice fast for 30 days, but am hoping during that time to have a three day water fast specifically for a time of prayer. Juice fasting is much easier--I'm on day four and feel pretty good. Yesterday was rough, but it was also a stressful day. I'll continue to read your blog. I love seeing the blogs of authenic Christians!
hello my dearest friend! i have missed you! i just linked you to my blog. stay strong.
your friend,
kerry
You always go into a fast with a purpose..What is the reason for your fast. What do you want to petition the Lord for? If you fast without a reason, you will just get hungry and have no results.
seeker: thank you - you encouraged me all day with your words of encouragement yesterday.
Bonnie: you to ditto, except you encouraged me the whole way through. Thank you so much.
Terri: I'm fascinated with your fast and I enjoyed blogging on to your site and reading more. God bless you with that.
Kerry: Thank you for coming by. Come by again.
Lucy: My other entries listed my reasons for the fast. It is just when you are two days into it, like when you are on a diet and that good looking dessert is tempting you, you ask yourself (or at least I do), "Why am I doing this again?" I hadn't really forgotten either at that time, when I wrote that or even asked myself that question; it was just a time that I was questioning my purposes and if the whole process was worth it. The hours stretched so slowly during the time too.
I made it to the 72 hour mark (in a very legalistic fashion), and the entire process was very well worth it. If all thoses [rayer requests that I blogged about and entered into Corry's site were promoted, if all of the different missionaries were helped, if my friend from China was lead closer to the Lord, if Christ was glorified, then yeah, way worth it. And I was changed. I hope my church doesn't go through the fast thing again for another year. They seem to do it yearly for three day stretches.
Good girl, I'm so proud of you. I told you that you could do it. How was the dinner?
folowed you here from seekers. My wife will love your site.
Don't you just love Keith Green?
Gosh when I first started listening to him back in the eighties I would get so convicted.
andrea! fasting is over. we made it! i will continue to pray for you. that's for sure. God bless you!
Hey Andrea, I'm so proud of you. You are simply gorgeous. I can't remember if I have told you, but I received your cd and card last week - you and your family is soooo beautiful!
God Bless you abundunately and I keep praying for you.
Hi Andrea :)
Wow! You have made it. Praise God!
God bless you =D
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