"Okay Lord, I'll take it from here!"
My life as a Christian has been a continual living out of that phrase again and again and again. I heard a Pastor say once that our bodies are living sacrifices and they keep getting off of the alter. Yeah, I want to serve God, I want to trust Him, but it is hard living suspended in mid-air. But I guess that since He can hold the moon up He can hold me and my little problems just fine.
Yesterday I was picking up something at the office that my husband and I have had for the past almost three years. I am so amazed as what the Lord is having my husband do, and I just can not believe it.
So anyway, I was picking up some things and I walked by the desk and I saw this financial thing that my husband was placed in charge of. Go figure. No way. My husband has never been good at anything remotely like that, I thought to myself.
In a flash of a moment I thought about how my husband also has never, ever been good or able to run our finances so in what possible universe is he going to keep our entire world from falling apart, since he is so bad at running the finances?
I am in a continual state of anxiety that one day my husband will come home and inform us that we have serious financial problems.
In the olden days, like when we were first married, or before we were married, we received regular Bank of America notices like they were our very good friends, because of the checks that we continually bounced.
Ever since I became a Christian, in early 1984, my two major prayers have been for my husband's salvation and for God to fix our finances.
My husband and I have gone back and forth over the years as to who is in charge of the finances. When I was in charge, I did pretty well, I thought, except for the fact that I could never control HIM, my husband.
Other times in the past that my husband has controlled the finances, I don't think that he did a good job at all. But, about two years ago, he has begun doing the finances again, and what is more, has been in his own business, running those finances also. Then, to top it off, my sister-in-law died about two years ago, and there was a fairly large inheritance for which a trust was created, and my husband has recently been placed in charge (along with one other person) of deciding how to handle that money, of which belongs to a group of about 10-12 people.
About two or three years ago, my husband has begun showing confirming evidence that he is a Christian. This was about the same time that he has come in charge of handling all of this stuff. Meanwhile, I am just so anxious, thinking that everything is going to fall apart. He is not a saver. He is not conservative when it comes to finances or business.
So the years go by, and I see things happening, like he is talking with a CPA for the business (that seems good, okay, he is going to pay taxes and organize the corporation of the business) and meets with a financial advisor. (Can he get him to actually save for the future? What a novel idea.)
Going back to yesterday, I was in the office and observed some paperwork for the trust and there was this invoice for like this big chuck of sum of money, for I-don't-know-what and I said to God in a flippant way, something derogatory and it was blasphemous, something like, but not these exact words, "You don't know what You are doing," with the implication that God is stupid.
Immediately I apologized and realized that I should be on my face in repentance. To talk to God that way. To disbelieve what He is doing. To not trust what He is doing and how He is working.
So throughout the day I repented, and felt very appreciative for God's grace and mercy upon me. I feel like I should be run over by a truck or something, because I am so disbelieving of what God can do, and am so arrogant about what I think I can do. I trust more in what I can see than who God is. He is the caretaker for me.
We live in a beautiful house. There are no little notes from the bank from bounced checks. There are no liens. There are no foreclosures or threats of such. No, I don't think that we have been good stewards of all that God has given us. I am sad that we don't do more in the way of charity, but God wants me to let my husband run the finances and in due time, God will answer that prayer that I have had for all these years. That He would fix our finances and that we could give more to God’s work.
Over these past couple of years, God has caused me to depend upon His provision day by day. To look out upon the ground and see the fresh manna for the day. To thank God for another day in our beautiful house with my husband and family. To trust God for His faithfulness. The house built upon the rock. It will stand. He is holding us in His hand.
Dear Lord Jesus,
I want to make my requests known to You, with thanksgiving. With thanksgiving. With thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thank You Lord for putting my husband in charge of this house. That is Your order and You are making my husband into the man that You want Him to be. Thank You so much, that even though in my husband I don't see the outwardly show of a form of Christianity that may be easy to drum-up, I see the making of a man who loves His family and cries at church when Your word is read, whose habits have changed and whose friends are beginning to change. Lord, You are making buildings as large as the twin towers of my husband's heart and mind to come tumbling down, as You are undermining the assumptions he has gathered over the 49 years of his life. Thank You for the evidences of Your fruit in His life. You know what I want - thank You for giving me what I need instead. You are the Provider of good things. Not houses of wood and fun paint per say, but eternal stones that worship You in spirit and in truth. I do pray that You would bless my husband's ability in these financial matters. Lord, it is me that You are changing also, maybe more so. Help me to receive Your steadfast love. You do not labor or spin and there is no shadow of turning in Thee. Lord, when You do put our financial world together, I can take no credit for it myself. You have tied my hands. I can just raise my hands and say, "thank You," and enjoy the fruits of other people's labor. Thank You right now for every material blessing that I have and enjoy. I am sorry that I am so temporal. Thank You for spending so much time in Your word about these things that trouble people like me. I know that You are blessing my husband. Bless him Lord. Give him wisdom and insight, strength and good fortune, that when all is said and done, I will know, we all will know what You have done, and not of his flesh, not of my flesh. Let this home be a testimony to Your goodness and faithfulness to us. Lord, perhaps we will never be organized in our finances to the degree that it would satisfy me. Help me to see that You will provide and that everything doesn't have to be in a perceived neat order. Help me to rest in You and enjoy everyday life. I cast my cares upon Your mighty back. Thank You for the example of the moon that You hold suspended in the sky. You can hold me too, suspended in mid-air, relying upon You - like Peter on that water, Oh Lord. Let me worship and honor You today. Amen.
Yesterday I was picking up something at the office that my husband and I have had for the past almost three years. I am so amazed as what the Lord is having my husband do, and I just can not believe it.
So anyway, I was picking up some things and I walked by the desk and I saw this financial thing that my husband was placed in charge of. Go figure. No way. My husband has never been good at anything remotely like that, I thought to myself.
In a flash of a moment I thought about how my husband also has never, ever been good or able to run our finances so in what possible universe is he going to keep our entire world from falling apart, since he is so bad at running the finances?
I am in a continual state of anxiety that one day my husband will come home and inform us that we have serious financial problems.
In the olden days, like when we were first married, or before we were married, we received regular Bank of America notices like they were our very good friends, because of the checks that we continually bounced.
Ever since I became a Christian, in early 1984, my two major prayers have been for my husband's salvation and for God to fix our finances.
My husband and I have gone back and forth over the years as to who is in charge of the finances. When I was in charge, I did pretty well, I thought, except for the fact that I could never control HIM, my husband.
Other times in the past that my husband has controlled the finances, I don't think that he did a good job at all. But, about two years ago, he has begun doing the finances again, and what is more, has been in his own business, running those finances also. Then, to top it off, my sister-in-law died about two years ago, and there was a fairly large inheritance for which a trust was created, and my husband has recently been placed in charge (along with one other person) of deciding how to handle that money, of which belongs to a group of about 10-12 people.
About two or three years ago, my husband has begun showing confirming evidence that he is a Christian. This was about the same time that he has come in charge of handling all of this stuff. Meanwhile, I am just so anxious, thinking that everything is going to fall apart. He is not a saver. He is not conservative when it comes to finances or business.
So the years go by, and I see things happening, like he is talking with a CPA for the business (that seems good, okay, he is going to pay taxes and organize the corporation of the business) and meets with a financial advisor. (Can he get him to actually save for the future? What a novel idea.)
Going back to yesterday, I was in the office and observed some paperwork for the trust and there was this invoice for like this big chuck of sum of money, for I-don't-know-what and I said to God in a flippant way, something derogatory and it was blasphemous, something like, but not these exact words, "You don't know what You are doing," with the implication that God is stupid.
Immediately I apologized and realized that I should be on my face in repentance. To talk to God that way. To disbelieve what He is doing. To not trust what He is doing and how He is working.
So throughout the day I repented, and felt very appreciative for God's grace and mercy upon me. I feel like I should be run over by a truck or something, because I am so disbelieving of what God can do, and am so arrogant about what I think I can do. I trust more in what I can see than who God is. He is the caretaker for me.
We live in a beautiful house. There are no little notes from the bank from bounced checks. There are no liens. There are no foreclosures or threats of such. No, I don't think that we have been good stewards of all that God has given us. I am sad that we don't do more in the way of charity, but God wants me to let my husband run the finances and in due time, God will answer that prayer that I have had for all these years. That He would fix our finances and that we could give more to God’s work.
Over these past couple of years, God has caused me to depend upon His provision day by day. To look out upon the ground and see the fresh manna for the day. To thank God for another day in our beautiful house with my husband and family. To trust God for His faithfulness. The house built upon the rock. It will stand. He is holding us in His hand.
Dear Lord Jesus,
I want to make my requests known to You, with thanksgiving. With thanksgiving. With thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thank You Lord for putting my husband in charge of this house. That is Your order and You are making my husband into the man that You want Him to be. Thank You so much, that even though in my husband I don't see the outwardly show of a form of Christianity that may be easy to drum-up, I see the making of a man who loves His family and cries at church when Your word is read, whose habits have changed and whose friends are beginning to change. Lord, You are making buildings as large as the twin towers of my husband's heart and mind to come tumbling down, as You are undermining the assumptions he has gathered over the 49 years of his life. Thank You for the evidences of Your fruit in His life. You know what I want - thank You for giving me what I need instead. You are the Provider of good things. Not houses of wood and fun paint per say, but eternal stones that worship You in spirit and in truth. I do pray that You would bless my husband's ability in these financial matters. Lord, it is me that You are changing also, maybe more so. Help me to receive Your steadfast love. You do not labor or spin and there is no shadow of turning in Thee. Lord, when You do put our financial world together, I can take no credit for it myself. You have tied my hands. I can just raise my hands and say, "thank You," and enjoy the fruits of other people's labor. Thank You right now for every material blessing that I have and enjoy. I am sorry that I am so temporal. Thank You for spending so much time in Your word about these things that trouble people like me. I know that You are blessing my husband. Bless him Lord. Give him wisdom and insight, strength and good fortune, that when all is said and done, I will know, we all will know what You have done, and not of his flesh, not of my flesh. Let this home be a testimony to Your goodness and faithfulness to us. Lord, perhaps we will never be organized in our finances to the degree that it would satisfy me. Help me to see that You will provide and that everything doesn't have to be in a perceived neat order. Help me to rest in You and enjoy everyday life. I cast my cares upon Your mighty back. Thank You for the example of the moon that You hold suspended in the sky. You can hold me too, suspended in mid-air, relying upon You - like Peter on that water, Oh Lord. Let me worship and honor You today. Amen.
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 7:08 AM
6 Comments:
Happy Valentine's Day Andrea!
Jesus loves you very much.
happy valentines day!
and what a beautiful post...
you inspire me.
kerry
Ah . . . resting in Him. There's the key. It isn't easy to lay it all at His feet, but you're right. It's so much better that way. I mean, who am I to doubt God's ways . . . but too often I whine and fear and like you have to repent and then feel so incredibly grateful for grace and mercy!
Wow. May God Bless you and keep you. May His eyes shine upon you.
I pray you and your hubby can grow in the Lord together.
I love your thankful heart!
Happy Valentine's Day to you, sis.
let's trust Him to help us handle our finances well.
God bless.
I'm so glad you talked about finances and yours not being the way you want them to be. It has been said that people will talk about sex before money. Our finances are not in great shape. But God is slowly working them out. And it is a process. A process of change for both my husband and me.
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