One in an occasional series: "My Food and My Body"
Today I will talk about it. Again. And just when you thought you could trust looking into my blog!
This is one article in an occasional series that is discussing my journey of weight loss, my journey of finding my body, and myself - an actual woman (who would have guessed - not me.)
Okay, so it was just after the turn of the century or so, who knows when, maybe 2002. I remember it was January. I got the (married) sexy attitude (see last entry in this occasional series, about 3 weeks ago) but had no body to go with it. I went to a doctor's appointment about a related matter and he looked and poked at my abdomen and commented, "You have all of this adipose tissue." OH MY GOSH! HOW do you spell ADIPOSE???? Okay, I really AM a doctor, and now YOU TOO KNOW, that it is by the grace of God.
So there I was an the appointment, with the little robe that didn't fit. The little robe that is supposed to give the patient's a sense of privacy. What also was about to no longer fit was the denial that I had been enjoying. It too was cloaked about me. It came tearing off of me in that appointment. Sort-of like a woman who was thrown upon a gurney in an emergency room, her clothes torn off by the stern but efficient ER nurse, dedicated to saving the latest victim from who-know-what horrible ultra-urgent life-threatening condition. (That final sentence can be used as a "poster-child" for an English teacher's demonstration for the use of hyphens.)
The point is, if you're having trouble sticking with me, is that I had no more denial. There is a certain level of denial that keeps sick behaviors continuing. When the doctor put his hand on my abdomen and pushed the fat around and commented upon all of "the adipose tissue," it broke through my denial. And there I was, naked.
I left the appointment and had my husband drive me to my final meal. In and Out burger. Double Double - no onions, french fries and, of course, a Diet Coke.
The next morning in my birthday suit, and before I had anything to drink (of course, the only way to weigh yourself), I weighed in at 220 pounds. Gasp. It turned out that scale was a little off. I can't keep it all straight, but when I got to 153 or so on my new scale, I had figured out that it was a 70 pound weight loss. (Currently, it is only a 65 pound weight loss, since I am not at the 153, but I am working on it - oh the life of a forever-dieter!)
The doctor scheduled me a follow-up appointment for like, every month or two, and with each passing appointment, I kept the weight coming off. It was a good incentive and tracking mechanism for me to lose the 70 pounds.
In future series, I'll let you in on why dieting is not as it seems to be - why dieters fail, and the secret bondage of food in the life of ... me.
I gotta leave you with something spiritual. Here's a prayer for my reader, you. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He cause His face to shine upon you, my friend. May you know the love of Christ, the love of God that He has for you, my friend. He rejoices over you with singing, my dear friend. He rejoices over you with dancing. He is your soul-provider. He is our Almighty God. Rest in Him, and so will I.
This is one article in an occasional series that is discussing my journey of weight loss, my journey of finding my body, and myself - an actual woman (who would have guessed - not me.)
Okay, so it was just after the turn of the century or so, who knows when, maybe 2002. I remember it was January. I got the (married) sexy attitude (see last entry in this occasional series, about 3 weeks ago) but had no body to go with it. I went to a doctor's appointment about a related matter and he looked and poked at my abdomen and commented, "You have all of this adipose tissue." OH MY GOSH! HOW do you spell ADIPOSE???? Okay, I really AM a doctor, and now YOU TOO KNOW, that it is by the grace of God.
So there I was an the appointment, with the little robe that didn't fit. The little robe that is supposed to give the patient's a sense of privacy. What also was about to no longer fit was the denial that I had been enjoying. It too was cloaked about me. It came tearing off of me in that appointment. Sort-of like a woman who was thrown upon a gurney in an emergency room, her clothes torn off by the stern but efficient ER nurse, dedicated to saving the latest victim from who-know-what horrible ultra-urgent life-threatening condition. (That final sentence can be used as a "poster-child" for an English teacher's demonstration for the use of hyphens.)
The point is, if you're having trouble sticking with me, is that I had no more denial. There is a certain level of denial that keeps sick behaviors continuing. When the doctor put his hand on my abdomen and pushed the fat around and commented upon all of "the adipose tissue," it broke through my denial. And there I was, naked.
I left the appointment and had my husband drive me to my final meal. In and Out burger. Double Double - no onions, french fries and, of course, a Diet Coke.
The next morning in my birthday suit, and before I had anything to drink (of course, the only way to weigh yourself), I weighed in at 220 pounds. Gasp. It turned out that scale was a little off. I can't keep it all straight, but when I got to 153 or so on my new scale, I had figured out that it was a 70 pound weight loss. (Currently, it is only a 65 pound weight loss, since I am not at the 153, but I am working on it - oh the life of a forever-dieter!)
The doctor scheduled me a follow-up appointment for like, every month or two, and with each passing appointment, I kept the weight coming off. It was a good incentive and tracking mechanism for me to lose the 70 pounds.
In future series, I'll let you in on why dieting is not as it seems to be - why dieters fail, and the secret bondage of food in the life of ... me.
I gotta leave you with something spiritual. Here's a prayer for my reader, you. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He cause His face to shine upon you, my friend. May you know the love of Christ, the love of God that He has for you, my friend. He rejoices over you with singing, my dear friend. He rejoices over you with dancing. He is your soul-provider. He is our Almighty God. Rest in Him, and so will I.
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 11:31 AM
3 Comments:
Nice Blog! Jonathan Edwards, one of my favorite theologians, said he was resolved every night to ask whether he made the best choices he could that day regarding food and drink.
Do all to the glory of God!,
Doug
Well, I just love your blog and your candor:-) Congrats to you on that weight loss, though. I needed some encouragement today and found it here. God bless you. You sound so much like me.
Oh the guilt! Oh the shame! I'm where you were in 2002. I need to lose about 70 pounds...I'm only 39 and am on blood pressure medicine. Pray for me...I'll be back for sure.
When did you get this blog look? I remember something different.
It looks awesome!
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