Mount Rushmore and Scott's Bluff
Yesterday my daughter and I were at Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. There was no internet assess at the hotel so I didn't get a chance to blog in then.
Driving through North Dakota into South Dakota was really cool, especially since we didn't get a flat tire, run out of gas, hit a wild animal (little fleeting fears that trapse in and out of this worrying mother's head while driving through the MIDDLE OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE). I counted 52 deer, about 30 road-kill and about 100 cars along the 5 hour route. I passed one car who was going to slow. It was crazy seeing families of deer just hanging out. Some were running around. The sky was beautiful, the road ahead went on for endless mile after wonderful mile.
South Dakota was nice. (What kind of bland and meaningless sentence is that?) While at Mount Rushmore, we saw a little movie about it, went on a couple miles of trails, went window shopping in near-by stores, laughed at funny things that we both thought were silly (how cool is that?) and took a picure while standing on a wall. We went on a tour through "Big Thunder Mine," and were a little more open with each other than we had dared to be in the past. She asked, "What's it like getting old?" (A serious question with a touch of semi-rude humor/implication, but I just let it go or laugh. You gotta laugh or let it go. I told her what her brother said when he saw me, "Mom, you're looking old." Who cares? BTW, my son gave me the best hug, which I blogged about a few days ago, so I didn't care what he said.) My daughter also asked, "How much did you weigh when you were fat?" (which had been an off-limits question) and "How much do you weigh now?" and "How much do you think I weigh?" We laughed together at the salad she made because she put apple sauce on the lettuce and she made it for me, and then wanted me to eat it, and she was sort-of picking on me because she asked why I didn't eat more and I hesitated and said it had apple sauce on the lettuce and she started laughing like she was going to spit up her food and the whole thing was funny. It was also funny when we were reading really funny cards together at a gas station and funny books at a store.
I marveled at how God has been taking care of everything. He has taken care of my daughter. He has helped me become a better and more flexible mother. You know, it is hard to transition from being entirely in control over and running a child's life to letting that person be her own person. That separation is hard. Harder for some more than others. Was hard for me. Is hard.
My daughter says things to try and provoke me, to test me, and I don't respond like I used to. I used to not be able to handle that at all and used to get really angry and try to control her from saying or doing the thing that was bothersome and that should not be done. Yesterday, my daughter commented something about my eyes, how they get large when I am really listening, or am startled or "when you're really angry." She said, "I like to get you angry and see that when you do that." I haven't gotten angry with my daughter, turning into that person, in about, well, I would say about a year and a half. I was able to share with my daughter during another portion of the day, that when you get old you have to continue to grow and change, or else you will just get bitter. I feel like God has enabled me to develop a part of my personality that can let some things go. It is not productive to go nuts at any time, even if someone pulls your strings and pushes your buttons.
A few weeks ago I was cleaning out a room and I found a notebook binder of my daughter's from a summer program. In it she wrote down that she didn't trust her mother, and that she didn't know how to get over that, and how she wished that she would get along better with her mother, and maybe that she would not get so stubburn with her mother. I kept thinking as I read it, "Hugh? Not trust me? What did I do to make you not trust me?" I don't know what I did that caused her not to trust me. I can hardly believe that is how she feels. But, I used to go nutty when she did things unbecomingly. I used to control her life, and then she sort-of grew up and I had trouble transitioning to the next step, so did she. I don't know what I did or said that could turn me into an "untrustable person," but I respect that she feels/felt that way, and I will just let it be.
My daughter acts very mature sometimes. She is really smart and is a strong leader. However, sometimes, she is still a young girl. Like when she watches cartoons, or giggles with her friends.
God is great. God has had this whole thing under His control the whole time. This whole relatinship, her whole future, His relationship with her, His love for her.
"Father, forgive me for doubting You. Lord, enable my daughter to feel that she trusts me. Help me to secure her trust. Thank You for letting me be a role model for my brilliant daughter, that You created just the way that You intended. Thank You for making her strong and a leader. Help her to understand how she is to be a woman in the context of how You created her and in light of what You will be doing in her life, where You will be taking her. Give her godly wisdom. Hand select each friend and protect each one. Strengthen her relationship with You. Show her that You are there for her, and cause her to run to You faster. Help her to desire and yearn for righteousness. Help her to go from a child's faith into a woman's faith. Help her to see how You and having a relationship with You is the most relevant and important thing in her life. Guide her plans for this summer and next year. Help her not to grow weary in well-doing, such as doing the successful job that she is doing at her school. Show her clearly where you want her to go to school in the fall and help her to desire and accept Your good and pleasing and perfect will. Help my relationship with You to be authentic and transparent. Help me to pray more boldly, like I used to do when she was young. Thank You for the times that Your truth comes out of my mouth, and increase that still more. God bless the family back home. Amen."
Driving through North Dakota into South Dakota was really cool, especially since we didn't get a flat tire, run out of gas, hit a wild animal (little fleeting fears that trapse in and out of this worrying mother's head while driving through the MIDDLE OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE). I counted 52 deer, about 30 road-kill and about 100 cars along the 5 hour route. I passed one car who was going to slow. It was crazy seeing families of deer just hanging out. Some were running around. The sky was beautiful, the road ahead went on for endless mile after wonderful mile.
South Dakota was nice. (What kind of bland and meaningless sentence is that?) While at Mount Rushmore, we saw a little movie about it, went on a couple miles of trails, went window shopping in near-by stores, laughed at funny things that we both thought were silly (how cool is that?) and took a picure while standing on a wall. We went on a tour through "Big Thunder Mine," and were a little more open with each other than we had dared to be in the past. She asked, "What's it like getting old?" (A serious question with a touch of semi-rude humor/implication, but I just let it go or laugh. You gotta laugh or let it go. I told her what her brother said when he saw me, "Mom, you're looking old." Who cares? BTW, my son gave me the best hug, which I blogged about a few days ago, so I didn't care what he said.) My daughter also asked, "How much did you weigh when you were fat?" (which had been an off-limits question) and "How much do you weigh now?" and "How much do you think I weigh?" We laughed together at the salad she made because she put apple sauce on the lettuce and she made it for me, and then wanted me to eat it, and she was sort-of picking on me because she asked why I didn't eat more and I hesitated and said it had apple sauce on the lettuce and she started laughing like she was going to spit up her food and the whole thing was funny. It was also funny when we were reading really funny cards together at a gas station and funny books at a store.
I marveled at how God has been taking care of everything. He has taken care of my daughter. He has helped me become a better and more flexible mother. You know, it is hard to transition from being entirely in control over and running a child's life to letting that person be her own person. That separation is hard. Harder for some more than others. Was hard for me. Is hard.
My daughter says things to try and provoke me, to test me, and I don't respond like I used to. I used to not be able to handle that at all and used to get really angry and try to control her from saying or doing the thing that was bothersome and that should not be done. Yesterday, my daughter commented something about my eyes, how they get large when I am really listening, or am startled or "when you're really angry." She said, "I like to get you angry and see that when you do that." I haven't gotten angry with my daughter, turning into that person, in about, well, I would say about a year and a half. I was able to share with my daughter during another portion of the day, that when you get old you have to continue to grow and change, or else you will just get bitter. I feel like God has enabled me to develop a part of my personality that can let some things go. It is not productive to go nuts at any time, even if someone pulls your strings and pushes your buttons.
A few weeks ago I was cleaning out a room and I found a notebook binder of my daughter's from a summer program. In it she wrote down that she didn't trust her mother, and that she didn't know how to get over that, and how she wished that she would get along better with her mother, and maybe that she would not get so stubburn with her mother. I kept thinking as I read it, "Hugh? Not trust me? What did I do to make you not trust me?" I don't know what I did that caused her not to trust me. I can hardly believe that is how she feels. But, I used to go nutty when she did things unbecomingly. I used to control her life, and then she sort-of grew up and I had trouble transitioning to the next step, so did she. I don't know what I did or said that could turn me into an "untrustable person," but I respect that she feels/felt that way, and I will just let it be.
My daughter acts very mature sometimes. She is really smart and is a strong leader. However, sometimes, she is still a young girl. Like when she watches cartoons, or giggles with her friends.
God is great. God has had this whole thing under His control the whole time. This whole relatinship, her whole future, His relationship with her, His love for her.
"Father, forgive me for doubting You. Lord, enable my daughter to feel that she trusts me. Help me to secure her trust. Thank You for letting me be a role model for my brilliant daughter, that You created just the way that You intended. Thank You for making her strong and a leader. Help her to understand how she is to be a woman in the context of how You created her and in light of what You will be doing in her life, where You will be taking her. Give her godly wisdom. Hand select each friend and protect each one. Strengthen her relationship with You. Show her that You are there for her, and cause her to run to You faster. Help her to desire and yearn for righteousness. Help her to go from a child's faith into a woman's faith. Help her to see how You and having a relationship with You is the most relevant and important thing in her life. Guide her plans for this summer and next year. Help her not to grow weary in well-doing, such as doing the successful job that she is doing at her school. Show her clearly where you want her to go to school in the fall and help her to desire and accept Your good and pleasing and perfect will. Help my relationship with You to be authentic and transparent. Help me to pray more boldly, like I used to do when she was young. Thank You for the times that Your truth comes out of my mouth, and increase that still more. God bless the family back home. Amen."
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 7:33 PM
8 Comments:
May God bless you both to bond more as you journey along!
God's Grace.
Don't let your daughter's 'trust' comment play on your mind. It's all a part of being a child and growing up. Trust may be another way of saying she is fearful of being judged less then perfect, or it can have all sorts of meanings, but not to worry, she obviously loves you dearly and is having the trip of a lifetime and memories to last forever. She is blessed to have you as her mother. Enjoy each other to the max!
Loved this post! I love the mother/daughter chat, how you could have never seen it coming, all the questions/comments from your daughter. I try not to idealize with mine because I always "Brady Bunch" it in my mind. It never goes that way in the real world. Kids are funny and silly and mean without really undertanding just how much it hurts...until THEY have kids.
You are handling it so well, I am living vicariously through you. Enjoy your time together. Be careful with those wild animals out there!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog. You totally inspire me!
sounds like you two are having a wonderful time. God Bless your time together, may it be a sweet memory for the both of you and an opportunity for your love for each other to grow and flourish, so she can know you are the one she can come to in any situation.
What an inspirational prayer. Inspiration to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance in my life and relationships with my children. So much for every day.. I find I need to call on Him every hour. But it's pretty amazing to be dependent on Him.
Amen to that sister. I know that in our weakest moments when we think, we're not getting anywhere, someone gets blessed.
God Bless you.
Your daughter is so adorable, Andrea :)
Thank you all! Love the feedback! I wish I had time to visit yall now!
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