The Real Me???
Ahhhhh! A keyboard and a blank page and time enough to fill it up. I'm in heaven - well, that is an earthly expression, isn't it....
"Our Heavenly Father: Thank you for my blog friends. Thank you for these real people who love you and seek you. Write with me and think with me. Let me yield my heart and desire to You for You are my God and I want to rest there, in the shadow of Your wing."
This week I got to be Acting Medical Director at the psychiatric hospital where I work and I love that. I get to do it for about two more weeks until the regular medical director gets back. He has never taken more than a few days off in the three years that he has worked at the hospital and then took this time off to do something secret. I am hoping that he is lining up his next job and that he quits and then I can get his job.
I feel like Abraham Lincoln. That is SO grandiose, don't you think? I mean, most people who apply for various positions and fail don’t compare themselves to one of our greatest, super famous presidents. But I do. Let me explain, if this reasoning is even explainable, that is.
I got a lot of jobs and positions over the years, but I remember the ones I didn't get. So I will focus on those. When I was 24 I tried to get a job to organize the medical student's lecture notes and I didn't get the job. Then I tried to be secretary of a little group of students during that same first year of medical school but someone else got the position. (Okay, I'm losing my audience now...boring...)
As a third year resident I wanted to be a leader of this special student government thing and I didn't get it. Then I wanted to be chief resident (really, really, really badly) and I didn't get that either, even though I had two shots at it.
Earlier this year I was nominated to be president of the medical staff at the hospital where I worked. 12 people voted. The only people who voted for me were the person who nominated me and me.
I have wanted to lead a Bible Study for approximately 154 years now (not a typo). That door has never been opened to me either (except the first couple of years after I was a Christian.) Currently, our pastor (who seven years ago said, “no, thank you”) is deciding whether to open up a Bible class I want to lead up to the church. So that leadership position is hanging in the balance.
I just bought three new audio CD's from a Christian lecturer, all on "Leadership." I dusted off an old leadership book I bought about 13 years ago, that I read and re-read and has all kinds of my notes in it. I thought that I would re-read it. It is called, "Transforming Leadership - Jesus' Way of Creating Vision, Shaping Values and Empowering Change."
Let me carry on a few more minutes, if you wouldn't mind the self-indulgence. My favorite part of my children's Sponge Bob movie is when Sponge Bob thinks FOR SURE that he is going to be promoted to the new Crusty Krab manager's position. He goes about the sea singing, "I'm ready, promotion" (BTW, you should see our family collection of Sponge Bob "I'm ready, promotion" mugs we got from you know who for Christmas.) Sponge Bob prepares his acceptance speech and when the announcer says, "Squidward Tenticles" gets the new job, Sponge Bob (who has 355 consecutive Employee of the Month Awards - my kind of guy) jumps up and shouts "YYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and proceeds to the microphone to make his speech, never registering the fact that he did not get the job.
Well, that's me. Abraham Lincoln failed at getting, how many jobs, but he didn't seem to get it that he didn't get the job.
Meanwhile, I painted the walls of my home library, so all of my framed diplomas and plaques and stuff that arrogant doctors like to collect were taken down. ME, I decided to put them in a box and not hang them back up on my home office wall because I might need them for when I get hired as the new Medical Director of the Hospital. Currently, I am not sure where to store the box in my house, while I am waiting for the new big promotion.
Why do I even want the job? Why do I not want the job is the question. Well, it goes way back. You see, I was born 18 months behind my little brother. I mean of course, my older brother, of whom I have always been fiercely competitive. He, is actually extremely successful and has actually become pretty wealthy as a big CEO type business man, because we are both the way we have always been - COMPETETIVE.
Now, I try not to act competitive. I try to continually remind myself over and over and over again until it is monotonous in my mind as I remind myself over and over and over to "NOT BE SO COMPETETIVE!!!!!"
Having four children in five years (a little thing I decided to do at the last minute, ""I think I'll try to have four children in five years," I decided one day as I neared the end of medical school) has helped me loosen up. Really putting Christ first and my husband and my kids right behind has really helped my to learn to be good and play nice. Realizing that GOD IS IN CONTROL AND NOT ME has helped me to be a nice and friendly person, because otherwise I think I would have become a bitter uptight witch, which I didn't become, since Christ was in control of my life these last twenty years....
So, anyway, there you have it. I was going to say, the "other side of me," but I should more aptly say, "The real side of me."
What do you think? Do you think that the medical director will quit and I could have his job? The job was actually available about four years ago but it was not the right time for me because my kids were too little.
Even though I was not voted "President of the medical staff," I (think) for various reasons that I am actually in the best position to get the medical director job if that should happen to become available.
"I'm ready, Promotion, I'm ready, Promotion..."
(You're Crazy, Andrea....)
I'm pretending that I don't really care one way or the other about it, or about the fact that I got to sign a paper yesterday that said, "Acting Medical Director” but I let it slip and said a joke to someone about it that showed a bit of my “real side.” I said it to a psychiatrist. Do you think he picked it up?
I actually really only want God’s will. Really.
“Trust and Obey for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey.”
"Our Heavenly Father: Thank you for my blog friends. Thank you for these real people who love you and seek you. Write with me and think with me. Let me yield my heart and desire to You for You are my God and I want to rest there, in the shadow of Your wing."
This week I got to be Acting Medical Director at the psychiatric hospital where I work and I love that. I get to do it for about two more weeks until the regular medical director gets back. He has never taken more than a few days off in the three years that he has worked at the hospital and then took this time off to do something secret. I am hoping that he is lining up his next job and that he quits and then I can get his job.
I feel like Abraham Lincoln. That is SO grandiose, don't you think? I mean, most people who apply for various positions and fail don’t compare themselves to one of our greatest, super famous presidents. But I do. Let me explain, if this reasoning is even explainable, that is.
I got a lot of jobs and positions over the years, but I remember the ones I didn't get. So I will focus on those. When I was 24 I tried to get a job to organize the medical student's lecture notes and I didn't get the job. Then I tried to be secretary of a little group of students during that same first year of medical school but someone else got the position. (Okay, I'm losing my audience now...boring...)
As a third year resident I wanted to be a leader of this special student government thing and I didn't get it. Then I wanted to be chief resident (really, really, really badly) and I didn't get that either, even though I had two shots at it.
Earlier this year I was nominated to be president of the medical staff at the hospital where I worked. 12 people voted. The only people who voted for me were the person who nominated me and me.
I have wanted to lead a Bible Study for approximately 154 years now (not a typo). That door has never been opened to me either (except the first couple of years after I was a Christian.) Currently, our pastor (who seven years ago said, “no, thank you”) is deciding whether to open up a Bible class I want to lead up to the church. So that leadership position is hanging in the balance.
I just bought three new audio CD's from a Christian lecturer, all on "Leadership." I dusted off an old leadership book I bought about 13 years ago, that I read and re-read and has all kinds of my notes in it. I thought that I would re-read it. It is called, "Transforming Leadership - Jesus' Way of Creating Vision, Shaping Values and Empowering Change."
Let me carry on a few more minutes, if you wouldn't mind the self-indulgence. My favorite part of my children's Sponge Bob movie is when Sponge Bob thinks FOR SURE that he is going to be promoted to the new Crusty Krab manager's position. He goes about the sea singing, "I'm ready, promotion" (BTW, you should see our family collection of Sponge Bob "I'm ready, promotion" mugs we got from you know who for Christmas.) Sponge Bob prepares his acceptance speech and when the announcer says, "Squidward Tenticles" gets the new job, Sponge Bob (who has 355 consecutive Employee of the Month Awards - my kind of guy) jumps up and shouts "YYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and proceeds to the microphone to make his speech, never registering the fact that he did not get the job.
Well, that's me. Abraham Lincoln failed at getting, how many jobs, but he didn't seem to get it that he didn't get the job.
Meanwhile, I painted the walls of my home library, so all of my framed diplomas and plaques and stuff that arrogant doctors like to collect were taken down. ME, I decided to put them in a box and not hang them back up on my home office wall because I might need them for when I get hired as the new Medical Director of the Hospital. Currently, I am not sure where to store the box in my house, while I am waiting for the new big promotion.
Why do I even want the job? Why do I not want the job is the question. Well, it goes way back. You see, I was born 18 months behind my little brother. I mean of course, my older brother, of whom I have always been fiercely competitive. He, is actually extremely successful and has actually become pretty wealthy as a big CEO type business man, because we are both the way we have always been - COMPETETIVE.
Now, I try not to act competitive. I try to continually remind myself over and over and over again until it is monotonous in my mind as I remind myself over and over and over to "NOT BE SO COMPETETIVE!!!!!"
Having four children in five years (a little thing I decided to do at the last minute, ""I think I'll try to have four children in five years," I decided one day as I neared the end of medical school) has helped me loosen up. Really putting Christ first and my husband and my kids right behind has really helped my to learn to be good and play nice. Realizing that GOD IS IN CONTROL AND NOT ME has helped me to be a nice and friendly person, because otherwise I think I would have become a bitter uptight witch, which I didn't become, since Christ was in control of my life these last twenty years....
So, anyway, there you have it. I was going to say, the "other side of me," but I should more aptly say, "The real side of me."
What do you think? Do you think that the medical director will quit and I could have his job? The job was actually available about four years ago but it was not the right time for me because my kids were too little.
Even though I was not voted "President of the medical staff," I (think) for various reasons that I am actually in the best position to get the medical director job if that should happen to become available.
"I'm ready, Promotion, I'm ready, Promotion..."
(You're Crazy, Andrea....)
I'm pretending that I don't really care one way or the other about it, or about the fact that I got to sign a paper yesterday that said, "Acting Medical Director” but I let it slip and said a joke to someone about it that showed a bit of my “real side.” I said it to a psychiatrist. Do you think he picked it up?
I actually really only want God’s will. Really.
“Trust and Obey for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey.”
posted by An Ordinary Christian | 8:12 PM
12 Comments:
I hope you get the desire of your heart, but always keep in mind the verse in Ecc. that says "to everything there is a season...". To put everything into the perspective of God's seasons in our lives really helps to understand the timing of events in our lives. It doesn't lessen the longing, but does help us understand, and I hope it's your Season!
birm girl: awesome - yes, to everything there is a season. YES.
I concur with birmingham girl. Also try to keep in mind that the "secret thing" the Medical Director is doing, might be something totally different then what you hope it is!!! He might be off to a sausage-eating contest and wouldn't want anyone to know (grin). You get my point:-)
I do pray though God has some great blessings in store for you!
God's Grace.
there's a season for everything. God promised to bless us when we obey His will. i know God will bless you more because you're putting Him first and putting Him in the driver's seat of your life.
Yeah, I keep thinking, "I'm ready to be published!" But God's timing is the best. Lean not on thine own understanding, right? So difficult!
"The blessing of the Lord--it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with it [neither does toiling increase it]. " Proverbs 10:22
I think God is preparing the place just right for you. When He blesses, He adds no sorrow to it. May God bless you with His best, as you wait for His move in your life.
God Bless.
Me again! I so am blessed by the coment of 'godzheart'. I sometimes forget that when He blesses He adds no sorrow with it nor does toiling increse it! That is beyond powerful. Thank you godzheart and thank you an ordinary Christian for being the vehicle to hear and see this!
WOW Acting Medical Director - trust the Lord has the best in store for you, whatever it is.
May the peace of God be with you, Andrea :)
wow sounds like you have alot going on. May God give you the desires or your heart! You are a blessing to so many already. You probably don't realize how much good you are doing just in blogging, but you are making a difference!
Thanks for the comment you left on my blog about my mother. I have not been able to blog consistently for a few months due to all the things I have going on, but hopefully now I can begin again.
Take care Andrea, God is working all things out for your good because you are called according to HIs purpose!
I love your honesty and "realness". I hope you get this position if it is what the Lord has planned for you. It sure sounds like something that would be fulfilling for you career wise. I love your "ordinary info" dream. That is sooo mine (with a little travel thrown in).
Corry - Yes, you are right, indeed! "Vain imaginations" carry me away sometimes...
Pia - Yes, a season for everything! That was the verse that I had on my Christmas card this year and it is so true!
MC - I hear you there! I really wish to be writing all day from my home, and hope to one day, and finish my two half written books and write new ones too, and had been trying to do that in the past, and I realized, it isn't God's time for that ... yet, Lord willing.
Godzheart - "The blessing of the Lord--it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with it [neither does toiling increase it]. " Proverbs 10:22
I was just thinking about this verse, because YES, who can hold the burdens and pressures of anything that God has not ordained and sustained. I want His will, His favor and that favor is in whatever circumstances Jesus would have me to be in. Thank you for the blessing of the verse - so much!
Birminham girl - You are a blessing, for the verse you brought and for underlining Godzheart verse - thank you and God bless you.
Kitty - thank you checking in, I was having trouble contacting you when I was on the net last. Hopefully I won't this time when I go there next. I'm trying to blog about once a week, rather than everyday, since there is so much that I feel like I need to do, but I do so look forward to transacting with you through blog world whenever I log in. Thanks.
Audrey - You too, love seeing those pretty flowers and sweet and considererate and uplifting words when I log in. Thanks.
L,L,L - I have thought of you and your mom this week and have been praying for you when the Lord brings you to my mind, which is regularly. I pray that God would continue to bless your ministry, because I know that God is really using you for His will. Thank you for the reminder that God will use me for His purpose. That is what I want - yeah, to be "used" (how I used to crave that), but mostly I want to serve Him in humility and truth as much as possible because He alone is truly our great reward (as He told Abraham), although as Paul said about those believers that he encouraged, that they are his letters of recommendation written on tablets of the human heart (Corinthians). You are a dear sister in Christ because the Lord has knit you into my heart.
Gina - nice to hear from you. Yeah, I like to be real, at least on blog land and when I write, and sometimes when I share in person, but mostly in person, with the world, I am not too transparent, other than wanting to reflect the peaceful disposition of Christ. - Oh! I didn't include travel on my dream info? Oh my - what an oversight - yes travel too - in fancy hotels, with room service and massages and pedicures too - gee did I miss anything else?
Post a Comment
<< Home