This is what I've been thinking (and praying) about

Since my husband and I are one body in Christ, and since I was created as a helper to him, and since Christ is the head and Christ wants to fill all in all, then it follows that....it follows that....it follows that.....humm. What follows that?

I was reading in "My Utmost for His Highest" about the importance when we are our wits' end NOT to panic but to continue to trust quietly and completely in the sufficiency of God.

I realize that my husband is very much of a leader and controller, even though I used to not think so. When I really actually gave up my grip I find he is there and that he is always there, since 1980, he is there. When I loosen my death grip on the essence of our single life and body, then I fall down. He falls down. We all fall down. And we wait awhile. 'Till my husband who really was controlling things anyway, does his role better and I am there. The woman at his side, who enjoys being a woman. The person she is. That "great gal."

One more thing. I've got to continually get out of the so-called "Christian" box which isn't actually Christ's life at all, but is my own presumptions. My presumptions are death. His life in my impotent life is Life and power and peace and resurrection.