But first, let me say that the Lord provided an absolutely incredible 50th birthday party for my husband last night, that you too will see in glory what God did for Himself, and His glory last night. He got a Bible that he virtually showed off to his family – that is an act of God Himself and perhaps one of the great memories of 2007 (perhaps because it is so fresh in my recollection!)
Now back to the subject at hand...what is next on my agenda.
2007 I think will be a time when I have accepted the fact that a main role in my partnership with my husband is "income generation" and my husband's duty centers on "income organization and support."
For 20+ years, I have resisted this identification/labeling of my role in the family, but it is useless, futile and counterproductive to resist God's provision through this vessel (me). Am I so full of self-righteousness that I know better than God (or think I do?) Am I so "wise" that I can direct my own life apart from God's direct intervention and mighty hand in my life? God's plan is best and He knows the end from the beginning. He has a direction He is moving, and end that is beyond what I see now. He is separating me from this world, from my pride and self-righteousness, my sense of entitlement and control. Anyway…
I am going to work more and my husband is going to help with the many ends of the business and home life so that I can actually work more. The bottom line is I am going to work more so that we can do the things that we want to do for our children and family, as they are entering college, etc and the expenses are going up for other reasons as well. My husband is a wonderful father and God is tying me up, as He has many times in the past, maybe to draw out my husband and increase His role while keeping me occupied elsewhere. It I had enough hours in the day, I would control virtually everything. I am like a virus that spreads throughout the community (world?) or like a fragrance that seeps all around. If I am not used up somewhere I tie up other people from doing their roles, because I do it for them (you know people like that?)
I don't much like spending a lot of time in psychiatry, but God has greatly gifted me in this area and has provided everything for me in this area. I am praying that He will bring me out from this area eventually, and into general Christian ministry, but God has not provided that yet. He is still bringing in the fold, or folding in (as in baking) some other ingredients into His pumpkin family pie.
Well, it is 11:25 and I am going to do a spell check and go to sleep! See you in 2007, Lord willing!